Standsfive

My Big-Bucket List

2012-01-29T21:01:00.001-07:00

I think there's a bucket list, and then there's a bucket list. The first being things, that one way or another, can be accomplished. Mine would include all kinds of travel. There are so many things I want to see. Nothing crazy. I really don't want to jump out of a plane or anything like that.

I've never really considered writing that list. But I decided (for some odd reason) to make a big-bucket list. The big things. Some that with the right means could be done and those that are merely wishes. The kind of stuff that probably won't ever happen. It's a little silly.

So, as I snuggle with my Sassy tonight, I'm gonna post it on my blog.

1. Play with baby tigers
2. Own a tiny monkey
3. See the pyramids, and walk through an ancient underground Egyptian tomb.
4. Live in Paris, go to culinary school, and become a fabulous pastry chef
5. Spend the night on a beach, sleeping on the sand. One that's really warm, and really soft.
6. Experience what it would be like to be blind. (a little weird, but so fascinating)
7. Walk on the moon
8. See the trees covered with Monarch butterflies in Mexico
9. Dance ballet on toe
10. Hold a bald eagle on my arm
11. See the aurora borealis
12. Go under water in a shark cage to watch great whites
13. See baby turtles hatch
14. See an active volcano and flowing lava
15. Give 1m to each member of my family
16. Spend a week on a deserted island alone with my husband
17. Have lunch with the prophet
18. Be on the Price is Right
19. Have my 20 yr old body back
20. Own a bakery / flower shop. What makes people smile more than sweets and fresh flowers?

What are some of your big-bucket list items?

2011-10-17T19:27:00.000-06:00

Wow man. How long has it been since I've typed on here?? I apologize to whoever is reading this that already knows everything I'm going to talk about. I have decided that because I am feeling very frustrated about everything, a little venting and perhaps an attempt at humor will make me feel better.

Step One: Semi-sudden crash into severe depression. I say semi because there were warning signs for several weeks. I simply (and mistakenly) chose to ignore them. This denial resulted in one of the worst two episodes of depression I've ever experienced, from which I am still trying to recover.
Step Two: I spent a full weekend immersed in nonstop crying and irrational guilt and anxiety over normal everyday things, especially social situations.
Step Three: Out of desperation, an entirely honest email about what was happening had to be sent because I wouldn't be able to fulfill my responsibilities at church the next day. This began, I am sure, the trickling of information being passed from one auxiliary leader to another. (See anxiety over social situations in Step Two).
Step Four: An immediate phone call to the Dr was placed at 8 am that Monday morning. Mercifully, they scheduled me to come in that afternoon.
Step Five: Dr says, "How are you doing?" I say...nothing for a couple of minutes because I'm already crying again. After a long discussion and a brief once over, Dr says, "You have severe depression." And in another act of mercy gives me a prescription for new meds.
Step Six: Appt with my orthopedic surgeon that I'd already scheduled due to pain in a shoulder that is totally screwed up. I get a really uncomfortable cortisone shot in my shoulder joint.
Step Seven: Two weeks of crazy side effects, including nervousness, a jittery inability to sit still, nausea, foggy feeling in my head, big headaches, lots of yawning and even feeling just plain high. I mean, weird high.

I'm gonna have to stop Step numbering everything now, cause I think you'll get tired of reading them. During those first two weeks, I had to ask for an honorable release from my church stuff because I couldn't even get myself to go to the grocery store. We also went on a week-long trip to the mtns in WY for a family vacay that we'd already planned for. It was good timing. I needed the peace and the time alone with my family, especially my husband. He immediately became my literal security blanket. Our relationship suddenly morphed into this incredibly close attachment. He has never been more tender, patient, helpful or understanding in the 16 years we've known each other. I am very lucky to have him and I love him very much for loving me anyway.

My awesome Dr ordered some blood work, just to rule out some things and also because I hadn't had any done for years. The results come back telling me that I am really healthy except for two things: extremely low Vitamin D and slightly elevated Iron. Their recommendation: a prescription dose of Vit D combined with an otc version, equaling 67,000 mg per week; and since I wasn't taking any iron supplements or vitamins they told me to go donate blood to bring my iron down. I actually got up the next day and went to donate blood for the first time in my life.

Three weeks after 'the crash' I returned to my Dr for a checkup. She takes a little bit more blood to rule out something called Hemochromatosis. Yeah...whatever. Nearly a week passed with no news and I felt pretty good about starting to feel like a normal person again. But, since my luck was already down, I guess, the phone did eventually ring and I spoke directly to my Dr. She informed me that I was positive for both genetic mutations, meaning I had to inherit it from both my parents. And told me I needed to schedule an appointment with a Hematologist.

Hemochromatosis (hereafter HM), I have learned, is a genetic chromosome mutation that causes my body to absorb too much iron. There are several different kinds of mutations that cause it. The particular one I have only occurs in 4 out of every 100 people with HM. The gene also predisposes me to be 3-4 times more likely to someday have a stroke. Luckily, of the different strains, mine means I only absorb just over 6 times the iron that I should. Some of the others are so much higher. Apparently it's more common in people of Scandinavian/Northern European decent. Anyway, this is a problem because the body absorbs too much iron, and then has to find places to store it. Like the liver, pancreas, heart, etc. Immediately it's not a problem. And in fact it's rarely discovered in women before the age of 50 because having a period keeps it under control until then. After years of this excess storage, it can cause liver cancer, cirrhosis, diabetes, heart disease, arthritis, etc. This also means I can't ever donate blood.

So to make a long story just a bit shorter, I visited the hematologist. He ran some more of my blood. (yay!!) and called me the next day. Long term iron stores or Ferritin, should be somewhere between 20-50. Mine was 89. So they said I needed to come in and have my first phlebotomy. It's the same process as donating blood, but only 1 pint instead of 2, and the blood is tossed in the trash.

Day one: They start a line in my left arm and use a large syringe to suck out what looked like a couple of tablespoons. He then injected a little bit of some liquid which I can't remember the name to keep the vein open. The 2 T got separated into two different vials for testing of ferritin and tbc. He then walked me into a little cubical with these nice comfy chairs. Despite that liquid, whatever it was, the little catheter thingy in my arm got bent and he couldn't get it to work. So out it came and in went another line into my right arm. The other end was stuck in the top of a glass jar. The jar looks just like the ones they bottle vinegar. My blood just zipped through that tube and filled up the jar in a matter of minutes. But upon standing, I nearly passed out. So the chair got laid back, and in came a bag of fluids, some chips and a drink of water.

Day two: I return for my second phlebotomy a week later. This time I tell them just to start with the right arm. She followed the same process, sucking out that 2T and moving me to the comfy chair. This time though, the blood doesn't seem to want to come out. After about 1/2 a jar, it just isn't moving. So out comes that line and in goes a second to my left arm. That side didn't work very well either, but she managed to eeek out another half of a jar and then I was done. Before I could even think about standing up, the blood drained from my face and the room started spinning. And yep, you guessed it. Another bag of fluids, etc.

Currently, 3 days later, I still feel a bit weak. I get a head rush if I get up too fast. The day after, I could hardly walk up the stairs, I was so tired. I'm trying to guzzle water (in between rt 44's) and I'm trying to have a protein shake here and there. I have a large bruise on my left arm and soreness in that bicep. Annoying. My parents think my doctors haven't diagnosed me correctly and that they're being too radical. I've read that if they can get the iron down to normal before it has a chance to damage any organs, I will have less than a 1% chance of developing liver cancer or cirrhosis. That seems like a good thing, right?

Oh but if that were all I was dealing with right now. The cortisone shot made my shoulder feel better for about a month. But it's right back to hurting again and my ortho guy said if that happened I would need to get an MRI so we could decide what kind of surgery to do. The choice is either a second arthroscopic temporary fix or a full shoulder replacement. I wish you could see the completely sarcastic smile on my face. I am just dealing with the pain right now because I don't have the time or the patience to start something else.

I also have this weird thing in my legs, where sometimes I will have a large blood vessel just spontaneously burst. It always leaves a very large, very ugly bruise. I had one burst the same day as my first phleb. I've asked two or three friends who are nurses, a friend who works as a PA in the ER and even my hematologist and nobody seems to know why it happens or what it means. ::hands up in the air and a shoulder shrug::

Then a week ago, I had to take my dog to the vet and have her put to sleep. She was so sick and so old. I know it was the best decision. We sure do miss her though. We had her for over 13 years. I got to see her when she was only two weeks old and I got to look into her eyes as they gave her that injection. It was very strange watching them change, in a fraction of a second, from being here to being gone. Just like that. It seems like such a cliche' for me to add, "And then....my dog died!" But really and truly, she did.

The final straw: About 4 weeks ago my lower back started hurting me. I just ignored it and pushed through. It even felt better for a few days and I thought I was in the clear. Until this morning. I'd been half awake all night because it hurt. But this morning, I could hardly get out of bed. I discovered that I couldn't put any weight on my left leg. Somehow I made it to the bathroom anyway, but almost passed out on the way back to the bed. So Honey found me lying on the floor in the dark in excruciating pain and unable to move. I have spent a very long day sitting on a heating pad and taking a large dose of ibuprofen every 6 hours. How I wish I had some stronger pain killers. How I wish I didn't have to go see yet another Dr to get them.
I give in. Fhs, someone come in and call off the dogs! I am completely destroyed. What else could possibly happen? My poor, poor husband. He has to deal with so much crap. And I feel like I'm a senior citizen in a 37 yr old body. Seriously. What the crap is going on, anyway? Hey, sorry about all of the 'poor me' stuff, but how could I possibly be feeling anything other than sorry for myself? I'm dreading bedtime. I'm afraid I won't be able to get comfortable. I'm afraid I won't be able to sleep. And I'm afraid that tomorrow morning I will be just as incapacitated as I was today.

At least I had my diet coke today. I did drop a full one on my coffee table this afternoon, and it broke and spilled all over the place. So super sad. Luckily my super hero husband came swooping in and got me a fresh one. I must be in need of a huge shot of humility. I'm waving my little white flag and I'm crying 'Uncle.' I hope I can get over the back thing quickly. I hope my ferritin will drop rapidly so I won't have to do phleb more than one or two more times. Even though I know the lifelong treatment of HM is periodic phlebotomy to keep my iron in a normal range. It's this initial every week thing that's tiring. After that, it'll just be a few times a year.

Send up a prayer for me if you think about it. I think I've been put on hold. I even told Honey this morning that when all of my bullcrap is resolved and over, I want him to take a trip to Vegas so he can do something fun for himself. "Stay in a fancy hotel and play poker for a couple of days." He deserves it, I think.

Pet Guilt

2011-06-10T14:48:00.002-06:00

This isn't an unfamiliar feeling for me, feeling guilty about my pet. Although, not something I ever felt growing up. We had cats in our house. I remember my mom showing me, even when I was just 3-4 years old, how to be gentle with the cat and explaining that she could feel things, etc. I grew up to love animals, but I also never felt any fear or guilt over a pet dying. In our rural town, the vet was really no-nonsense and pretty straight forward. At least, that's how I remember him. If you felt like the better choice was to put your pet down rather than to extend their life with expensive or complicated treatments, then he was fine with that. I appreciated that - especially when somehow the task of taking our long time siamese cat Sam to the vet for that express purpose became my responsibility. I had insisted for weeks that when it was time, I had to be there. And then I found myself being the one to take him. I wasn't happy about it, you know. But he was old and sick and it was just time. You know? I know I was pretty sad and I may or may not have made him some promises in the car on the way there - cause I believe I'll see him again someday - and I cried. It was hard. But it's just life, isn't it? May 22, I'm pretty sure, and my brother wrote on the fridge in the kitchen, "May 22 - Sam Day."

When Bailey was about 6, she hurt her back. We tried the slow and cheap way to fix it. Meds and lot's of rest. But it didn't work and finally we had to decide. Surgery or...not. She was only 6. So we went for the surgery. That was 7 years ago. I believe it was worth the cost. When Sammy was 9, she messed her back up. This was harder. We had a very long talk about what to do and had essentially decided we weren't going to fork out all that cash again. But let me tell you - there is something about that vet standing there looking at you waiting for your decision and you can just seeeeee it in their eyes. They'll hate you if you don't go for it. Then they start rationalizing why it would be a good idea, why it would be worth the money, why you should give them a chance. I hate pressure like that. It irritates me. But then I went over to see the dog and I couldn't stand it. And we caved. Now I'm very glad that we did. She has lived a full and happy life, healed up great, can run like crazy and everything. Her only issues are a little arthritis, but she's 11 now. Like, 70-something years old. Quite appropriate.

So now - at 13 1/2 - my dog Bailey has been diagnosed with Cushing's Disease. It causes a variety of problems and is very likely caused by a tumor on her pituitary. This is not operable. It is also not cureable. Treatment is simply to make them feel better. But treatment is very expensive. We've already spent $200 to get the first bit of news. It's another $500+ just to get her the blood and ultrasound diagnosis. Then, the medication is $6.99 per pill and every few weeks, she would need another blood test ($260 repeated 2-6 times). The medication would be permanent, especially since the tumor causing the problem can not be removed or changed. So here we are, with the news from the vet and the guilt. The guilt that tells me we'd be cruel horrible animal haters if we don't do whatever we can to make her feel better.

Let me be clear though. The vet was very kind on the phone when she gave me the news and told us about our treatment options. She was fairly straight forward about the costs. I had to search online to get the cost of the medication. But I almost felt an anxiousness from her for us to do something about it. "We need to do the blood test and get the ultrasound done." Those two things are the initial $500. Another piece of the puzzle is Bailey's liver. I hope you don't mind some technicality. Results were:

Alkaline Phosphotase. Normal 150. Typical Cushing's Dog 1500-2000. Bailey....4210.
ALT. Normal 107. Bailey....937.
Another one I can't remember the name of. Normal 55. Bailey....92.

Don't ask me what those numbers mean. Just that her liver enzymes are freakishly out of whack and the vet even said she's never seen numbers as high as her 4210.

My fear is that we'll fork out that $500 and they'll do an ultrasound and discover that her liver is dying and we can't do anymore for her. My fear is that we'll fork all of that out and 4 months from now, she'll die anyway. This could happen various ways. A seizure, congestive heart failure, kidney and/or liver failure, a blood clot to her lungs, or rarely the pituitary tumor could be growing rapidly and she'll lose brain function and her behavior will get freaky. In the meantime, she shows nearly all of the symptoms of Cushings, save a couple. Panting for no reason and peeing all over the house. I can handle the panting. I can handle her drinking tons of water and acting like she's starving all the time. I can handle carrying her up the stairs because she's losing muscle mass and it's getting really hard for her to get around. I can handle all kinds of things, but peeing all over the house? Uh.....no. But does our choice to not fork out the money mean we don't care about her?

So maybe we're terrible horrible animal haters, but we are simply not going to treat her Cushings. We're going to let it run it's course for a few weeks and see what happens. As it is, she sleeps nearly all day. Her happiest moments are mealtime and when we come home from somewhere. As long as she still gets happy about dinner and still gets up and wags her tail for us, I'm pretty satisfied that she's still happy enough to be here. I know she's uncomfortable in some ways. I can see it. I guess we'll just have to play it by ear as to whether or not we have to make that hard decision for her, unless it happens quietly on it's own.

Thirteen point five years is a very decent and typical lifespan for a dachshund. My gut says that she will probably make the summer. But for some reason, I don't think it will be much beyond that. I'll have to write some post with pictures of her as a baby and stuff - tell you about the cute things she would do and why I always called her honey. Why we always thought she would have been a fabulous mommy dog, but never had the chance. How I think she would have been a perfect pet - if Sammy hadn't come around and showed her how to bark at everything. Yes. I blame Sammy. This is morbid and weird. She's not gone yet.

I did sit my kids down and explain it all to them. There is a definite chance that one of them could find her gone one of these days and I didn't want to feel guilty that I hadn't warned them. I also wanted them to be aware so that they can be more careful of her and kinder to her. And so they could help me keep an eye on her. I know they will let me know if they see anything unusual. Sweetly enough, George spent the time during the discussion wiping at his eyes. Not crying or bawling like he always does about everything else. Just very quietly clearing a few tears from his eyes before they could go anywhere. Link didn't do much or say much, but it's more like him to keep that to himself until a later time. Sassy didn't say much until about 20 minutes later. We were in the car going somewhere and she started to sob. Awwww....the tender hearts of my children. I love being able to tell them that Bailey won't be gone forever. That we can see her again someday. That I fully believe that God would not give us these animals that we love so much and then never let us see them again. And I told them that she'd be perfectly healthy there, happy and running around. And it really made my kids feel better to know that.

As for me, it's all I can think about right now. I find myself saying the word Cushing's in my head a hundred times a day. So explains my post. I had to write it down to make myself feel better. Honestly, I don't feel surprised by it or dreadful about it. But last night I was petting her and listening to her breathe and wondering what she felt like in that little dog body of hers and in the middle of her steady breaths, she stopped. What would have been 3 or 4 breaths, and felt like an eternity, passed in silence and I felt this horrid feeling creeping up into my throat and bang....she was breathing again like normal and it was like it never happened. That tells me that it's going to hurt a little more than I'm preparing myself for.

A Tasty Discovery

2011-04-10T18:08:00.004-06:00

Ever had Stacey's Pita Chips? The cinnamon ones?

I hadn't until today. Actually bought the bag a couple of weeks ago because George asked. But we came home from the store, put everything away, and they got shoved to the back of the cupboard and forgotten. Until today. So I found them back there and decided to give them a try. Worst case, I figured, the kids could eat them up and we'd be done with them. Uh.....hello? These babies are tasty! Like super crispy and toasty cinnamon toast. Who doesn't love some cinnamon toast? Or 'sugar toast,' as Sassy calls it. So I ate a few and then realized all I could think about was cream cheese and I wanted to dip them. Dip dip dip.

Here's what I used:

8 oz cream cheese
1 T packed brown sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 salted caramel cream sauce*

Mix all together and... dip dip dip. Hooooooo-mama!! A word of warning...it's dangerous. I could eat the stuff with a spoon. But on the chips, it balances out the sweet of the chip so nicely. I can't imagine it wouldn't be good with apples or a blob melted on the top of french toast or really, just use your imagination. The spoon is a pretty decent option though. Try it. I know you'll love it.

*I just happened to have this caramel sauce in my fridge. But you could use any kind of caramel or even butterscotch ice cream topping. If it's been in your fridge, warm it up first.

Oh my goodness, I was just picturing a couple of pieces of cinnamon bread with this stuff spread in the middle like a sandwich - then dipped in the egg/cream mixture just like french toast and cooked on a griddle. Topped with some sliced bananas, a little powdered sugar to make it pretty and a couple of slices of crispy bacon. Sorry. It's been way to long since I went out for breakfast. It's one of my favorite things, you know.

Success!

2011-03-27T18:52:00.007-06:00

Today I delivered 11 plates to 11 people. I can't even tell you how much I enjoy that. I'm tired, for sure. But it's just awesome to make someone smile. And although I get a lot of enjoyment out of just learning, trying, making it pretty and all of that, how could I possibly do all of that and not share it??

The best thing that happened in my kitchen today was making my first successful batch of Swiss Meringue Buttercream. My arm is a little worn out. But it really wasn't that bad. I think I will post my own version of a tutorial for that soon. But for now, a recap of the cupcakes, and my feelings about the results.

(this is where I wish Landee were sitting here so she could show me how to do those totally cute pictures
with the captions in the adorable fonts and all of that cuteness - some day soon)

Rosewater & Raspberry Cupcake

Everything about this cupcake was easy - well, except for finding the rosewater and the edible flowers. But the batter was simple and they baked up nicely. The glaze needed quite a bit of tweaking from the written recipe, but luckily glazes are totally easy. And can you believe how scrumptious those raspberries look? Actually, the only thing about this cupcake that's raspberry is the two sitting on top. But the name definitely sounds better with that thrown in.

Honey gets all the credit for the photos, btw.

They tasted exactly the way I was hoping they would. It's like inhaling the scent of a home-grown rose while you're eating. I was hoping the cupcake would be a little more moist, but I think if I made them and ate them on the same day - they'd be perfection. Perrrrrfection.

Coconut-Lime Cupcakes

These baked up nicely too, with only the slightest divot in the middle. No big deal, cause I had to punch out a piece of the center anyway. There's a small amount of coconut in the batter which I think gave them a nice texture. If you like that, of course. Honey enjoys the flavor of coconut, but doesn't like actually eating it. The center is filled with a creamy, tart lime curd. Like so....

The lovely buttercream called for some coconut extract, but I must say, it needed more than the recipe called for. It was barely noticeable. That's a very easy fix, however, and I totally enjoyed eating it.

Salted Caramel Cupcake

You remember the problems I had getting this one to bake up right, right?

Yep. There they are. All sunken in. Let me tell you, though, they are dense, a little sticky, and the brown sugar in the batter really adds some good flavor. Especially after they're filled with the caramel swirled buttercream. Granted I could have used more caramel, but I was a little nervous that it would interrupt the delicate texture of the buttercream. I was short the pretty salt flakes that I needed to just garnish the top, but oh well.

There I am - taking a pic to text to my sister. Mmmm mmm mmmmmmmmmm.

So, here are today's spoils...

They are definitely eat'em-with-a-fork cupcakes. Yikes. I have no idea which direction I'm going to go next. Like I said, I am very tired. But very, very satisfied and I really learned a lot.

Ohhhhhhh Help!

2011-03-26T19:32:00.003-06:00

Three kinds of cupcakes made. Check. Lime curd for filling. Check. Caramel drizzle sauce. Check. Ok. I have now tried the buttercream recipe from the cookbook twice. No dice, my friends. I'm very frustrated. Step two is whipping the cooked egg whites/sugar mixture until it's all light and fluffy. The book says it should take about 6 minutes. I whipped. I tried two different whippers on my hand mixer. Twenty (20!) minutes later, still thick and soupy. Well, like melted marshmallows really. And quite tasty - but so not what it was supposed to be. See?

Frankly, this is annoying. I'm pretty sure I stomped my foot too. So off to Google, cause what would the world be like without it? Wait. I know what it's like without it. Lame. Anyway, first I searched for 'cooked buttercream,' but I kept finding a recipe for the Italian Meringue version. In that recipe, the egg whites are whipped alone, and then a hot syrup is poured into the egg whites while continuing to mix, followed by butter. Oh I know I could switch to something else. But I'm gonna figure this out, man. So I got more specific and typed something about buttercream from cooked egg whites and sugar. And lo and behold, there in the list a little ways down I see Wikipedia with this. A listing of different kinds of buttercream, how they're made, etc. And there it was! It's called Swiss Meringue Buttercream. Thank you!!!

Back to Google and I typed that in. Which led me to Youtube and this fabulous, amazing, happy, instructional video. Differences? Salt added to the egg whites first. Thanks cookbook lady for leaving that out. Sugar added to the egg whites gradually. Nope. Not in the cookbook either. Plus a handful of very helpful tidbits that I am thrilled to know.

Oh my gosh. I'm totally turning into a baking freak, aren't I? No really! I learn stuff like this and I just want to tell people. I guess you don't have to read this if you want. I mean, I did only get one comment on my last post. Nevermind that some people are overflowing with followers/comments. :) Totally kidding!!! That isn't really why I'm blogging anyway. It's like in You've Got Mail, when she talks about sending her questions out into the void. "So, goodnight dear void." One of the best. movies. ever.

I'm gonna do it, you guys! I'm gonna make it and it's going to work and I'm going to feel like a super hero for figuring it out. In the meantime, people who've volunteered to be tasters, I appreciate your patience. And hopefully you'll feel rewarded when I have some decent results.

Headaches and Cupcakes

2011-03-25T07:35:00.009-06:00

Literally and figuratively. I'm just a headache person, I think. I just love waking up with a headache, like I did today. Oh wait...what? What does this have to do with cupcakes?

Well, since you asked, and since it's a much more enjoyable thing to read about, I will tell you. This is where we get into the figurative headache. You see, I'm finally digging into that cupcake cookbook I told you about here a long time ago. I'm not starting in the front. I didn't think you'd mind. But I'm making a trio of cupcakes. Recipe titles are: Rosewater & Raspberry Cupcakes, Coconut-Lime Cupcakes and Salted Caramel Cupcakes. (I envision one of each on a long rectangular plate. Wouldn't that be a lovely display?) The first headache came when trying to find the rosewater and the edible rose petals. Granted the rose petals are simply a decorative garnish for the top, but I was determined (at first) to make mine look exactly like the picture in the book. After going to Whole Foods, King Soopers and Sprouts without any luck, I resigned to the fact that finding organic roses, especially in March, is near impossible. And I'm annoyed that it's only March because I would have full access for free in my front garden come sometime in June. I mean, you really don't want me to make sugared rose petals from the normal ones at the store than might have pesticides on them, right? I didn't think so.

The other annoying thing was that I called three stores and asked them about rosewater and they all said, 'Oh yes...we have it.' But I suppose I wasn't specific enough. Well, actually - when I got to the first store, the sales lady said, "The bottle used to say it was edible, but it doesn't say that anymore. I'm pretty sure you still can though. It's totally fine." As she walked away, I started looking at the bottle and found this glaring statement on the back, "Do Not Ingest." Chaaaaaright! Like I'm going to even use it and hand out the cupcakes to other people. No way. Aren't you glad that I'm looking out for you? Store number two had the same stuff. Store number three had nothing. And the thing that bugged me is every time I asked someone about it, they looked at me like I was crazy. "Rose....water? Um.......for baking?? Uh...no. I - don't - think we have that." Even the french-accented behind-the-bakery-counter lady at one of the more snooty stores. They have a decent display of fancy desserts. Seriously? You've never heard of it? Lame. You can imagine my joy and relief when I walked into Vitamin Cottage. At first, I kind of felt like a secret agent because I couldn't stand to get that 'we don't know what you're talking about you crazy lady' look again. But after a lot of walking around, I finally asked and the lady smiled and said, "Rose water? For topical use or for food?" I could have hugged her. Not only did she walk right to it, but another lady in the store got in on the discussion and they showed me a second, concentrated option. Elation, I tell you.

It should only be fair then, that when I baked the cupcakes last night, they turned out like so:

They smell really good, you guys. The rose is really subtle - just wonderful. It reminds me of the Rose Geranium Macarons from Miette. A lovely patisserie in San Francisco.

If you ever have the opportunity - I highly recommend stopping by. Try their Macarons and then peruse their beautiful selection of fancy candies, even things like Lavender Marshmallows. Dreamy, I think. What's a Macaron? Not macaroon. Macaron. Check it out here and here. I might have to mail order some from Miette for myself for Easter. Just might. They also offer them in grapefruit, pistachio, vanilla, hazelnut, etc. If I were 20-something, single and had lots of money - I would move to France and live there for months learning how to make all kinds of fancy pastries and stuff. I digress....

After such a successful ending to an annoying day, I decided to just jump right in to the next recipe. So I whipped together the ingredients for the Salted Caramel Cupcakes and tossed them in the oven. Alas, this was the result:

Ahhh, man! What now??? Now I have to do it over. I'm not saying those little crispy edges aren't super yummy, cause they are. This recipe has a decent amount of brown sugar in it too. Oh so yummy. So, because I have to make this work and for the sake of learning, I have done a lot of research online about sunken cupcakes and I think I might know how to fix it. I will let you know how the second attempt turns out and when I finally do the full posting of these from beginning to end (including the frosting and fancy garnishes) I will fill you in on all of the details.

Oh, and I hope you're excited. I mean, I am. Because yesterday I made my first batch, with success, of Lime Curd (which is going to be the filling for the Lime-Coconut Cupcakes). I also made a batch of Caramel Drizzle. This will be lightly swirled into the butter cream frosting that tops the Salted Caramel Cupcakes.

Some-more Tidbits

2011-03-09T16:16:00.002-07:00

Some downsides:

The downside to having a wall painted a chocolate brown is that you can eventually see that dust collects on the wall. Especially next to the television. Dust. On. the. wall. Have you ever considered that? Maybe I'm displaying my lameness by admitting that I never had. And now I'm very sad that I know. It makes me look at my house and wonder just how much dust I'm not seeing.
The downside to having a darker carpet is that every little white spec of paper/things that kids are constantly leaving behind are really obvious.
The downside to having a coffee table is that everyone leaves their stuff on it. All the time. All kinds of stuff. Doll clothes, scout books, papers, controllers, chargers, hair things, legos, nanos, paper airplanes and so on. I find that I really wish the coffee table weren't here.
The downside to having a large island in the kitchen is that it collects even more than the smaller one in our last house. I remember being annoyed with our last kitchen and now I wish I still had that little one. So much less to clean up.
The downside to baking a cake for someone and having extra layers leftover is that I then find myself compelled to have some. And may I just say that my last chocolate cake was a.mazing? Well, it was. And then days later, I miss the cake that I finally had to throw away because I knew I would just keep eating it. This is one of the biggest reasons why I enjoy giving cakes and treats away. I know it will make someone smile, I get to feel happy for creating it and I am then saving myself from consuming more sugar.

And some other stuff:

I've had a headache for days. Like, 6 whole days. I think I'm going to go crazy. It makes everything annoying.
I've been feeling a little nostalgic/sad over the age of my children. Like, where in the world did the last 11 years go? I remember so many times my Dad telling me to enjoy their little days because someday I would really miss them. And you know how it is. In the middle of the diapers and the tantrums and the up all nights it seems like that could never be possible. And yet here I am with my youngest just months from starting Kindergarten and I feel like the best part of my life is ending. I know once I embrace the next stage of my life it will then become a best part too, but right now it doesn't look that way.

Ok. So that was fun. Lot's of bummed out information, huh? On the other hand, I get to spend a few days alone this weekend and I'm really looking forward to it. In addition, I will be on a plane in 36 days on my way to Oahu. Wow. It will be the first time I've flown over the ocean, the longest flight I've ever been on and the first time I've ever been to Hawaii. Time for a hardcore slim-down, followed by some clothes shopping.

This's and Thats's

2011-02-28T20:55:00.003-07:00

I am better. I mean, like someone flipped a switch over night better. The first day I thought I was better only lasted a couple of hours. Getting up, showering and driving to Sassy's ballet class was all I could handle. After that, I felt like my body was going to collapse. So I spent some more time laying on the couch and took it very easy for the rest of that day and went to bed early. Again. The next day when I woke up the difference was amazing. I feel cheerful. I can taste food. I can actually run up the stairs and zip around the house the way I like to zip around the house. Thankfully I did get better. I did help myself to, I think, three different trips to the smoothie place for a protein shake with added immunity and a shot of wheat grass. I think it helped.

I currently have 3 stars in every available level of Angry Birds. And it took me FOR EVVVVVER! And now I'm annoyed that I'm at the mercy of the Angry Birds people, waiting impatiently for an update so I can keep going. COME ON!!!!

I haven't baked a thing in too long. Having sick children and being sick and now being completely behind in every possible way because of the sick people has made me less motivated to start something new. However, I get to do a baby shower cake this week. I'll post you some photos.

My dearest friend Miss Landee of Landerson Estate has finally awakened to the wonderful world of Jane Austen - or more specifically, Pride and Prejudice. All is right with the world. Not only did she try it, she loved it. And I'm loving every minute of it. We very giddyingly watched the BBC version with the handsome Colin Firth (as the handsome Mr. Darcy) all afternoon. A glorious way to employ our time, I dare say. I then watched the Kiera Knightley version. Again. I've seen it a countless number of times. There are things I like and things I dislike about each version, but the tension and the joy and the wittiness never fails. Never ever ever. Today I started listening to the audio book. I'm so tired of hating to get my things done around the house, so I'm employing the assistance of my ipod to keep me from dying of boredom. Or to save me from a complete lack of self-discipline. Perhaps this increase of exposure to Pride and Prejudice will assist me in becoming a more accomplished young lady. Yes. Young. Okay?

I'm very annoyed that my kids aren't done with the school year until June 4 and that the following year begins on August 1. What the heck is going on around here? And that leaves me annoyed that we have an entire two weeks off for spring break. Can't we just have a 4 day weekend or something and get a longer summer? Dumb. But after a weekend of crazy children who couldn't stop flopping around, giggling, running, arguing, misbehaving and the like - I dread spring and summer break.

I have decided to try WEN for hair. I have a freaky, unnatural attachment to my hair, and it's been looking a little sad lately. Dry, dull and split on the ends. I like my hair to be shiny and touchable and - I told you it was freaky and unnatural. Anyway, I am reserving my verdict for now. I've only used it for three days. Not only do I have to figure out if it's worth the effort, but I still have to determine how much it's going to cost in the long run. You know. I will say that immediately it is softer. It's so much easier to comb out when I get out of the shower. It takes longer to dry. It's fuller, my color looks better and I can't see as many splitty ends. Just sayin'. However, I know that sometimes things work really good for a week or two and can then suddenly become not so great. So we'll see. I have also decided to try Bare Minerals makeup. My mom and a couple of my sisters have been using it for a long time. My dear friend, Miss Landee of Landerson Estate, uses it. Her skin always looks luminous and healthy and shimmers just the right way in the sunlight. So after months of mulling it over, I pulled the trigger. Just got it this afternoon. I will obviously have to reserve my judgment on that as well until I've used it for a while.

Anyway, so that's the deal. Not too exciting. Not too lame either. See you around.

Will I Ever Get Better?

2011-02-16T09:17:00.002-07:00

About a week after New Year's, I was running around the house, picking things up and thinking about 500 million different things like always. I noticed that when I bent over, there was a pain in my chest. Weird. I paid attention to it sort of, marked it in my brain and moved on. A couple of days later, I had this cough starting. A 'reactive' cough as they call it. Then a low fever. I'm very commonly sick in my sinuses, so to be sick in my chest was really weird. I don't have anything in my house for chest congestion. I took myself to the dr (which ended up being the PA) and found out that I had bronchitis. She gave me an inhaler and some cough syrup. I hate that prescription cough syrup. It never helps. It never does anything. It's like the doctor knows there really isn't anything they can do, but it's the standard 'go to' prescription. She told me it could take a month to get over it. A month later, the cough was almost gone. I was still running a low temp (alllll that time). A couple of my kids had a one night bout with the throwups. Sassy transitioned immediately into a fever/cough/sinus infection. A few days later, Link got the fever/cough/sinus infection. And then I started to get sick. My bronchitis took on a whole new life, like someone had given in vitamins or something. But this time, I was all congested in my head too. After a few more days, George came home from school with a fever and 5 days later he was on antibiotics for, yes, the third sinus infection. Geez. Me however? I'm tired. My body hurts. My head feels like it's going to freaking explode. I'm so congested. My sinuses are throbbing and my chest hurts so bad when I cough. Which comes in waves that I can't stop. And even though I can only cough so hard physically, my body wants me to cough harder than it's capable of and then I sound like I'm dying or something. Gross.

So back to the PA who says, literally, "Well, I think what you have going on in your sinuses is viral. But let's put you on an antibiotic in case you have something else going on that we can't identify." You have GOT to be kidding me. I think she was offended when she asked me if I had been using the cough syrup and I said no. I told her the night-time theraflu was doing just fine and I hadn't felt like I needed it. I hear tales of these doctors who test for influenza. They must be out there somewhere. Mine doesn't. I've never even heard anyone suggest that it can be done other than my friends or family who've experienced it. So I have decided that's what I have and the PA is an idiot. Since I've been under-the-weather since the beginning of January, I decided it was time to throw in the towel. I canceled everything for the week. I made arrangements for children and I've spent the last three/four days in my pajamas doing almost nothing. I feel the tiniest shred of a hair better this morning. I could actually taste my breakfast. I ate out of habit more than anything though. I still don't feel hungry or desire to really eat. Not so bad, right? Today is the first day that I will be home alone. George finally went back to school today. Landee will be here in a minute to pick up Sassy for gymnastics. I will need to take her to dinner or something after all this blows over.

Worst of all, I'm supposed to be making this big, gorgeous cake for my friend's 40th birthday this weekend. Do I cancel on her? Or do I muscle through it? What would you do?

First Hurdle

2011-01-21T22:14:00.002-07:00

So my self-imposed cupcake challenge has found it's first, uh.....challenge. The cookbook truly does it all from scratch. The cake, the glazes, frosting, etc. Hooray, I say. Bring it on. Except that sometimes it doesn't always work out. Like now.

See, Link asked me to make one of the cupcakes from the book for his birthday. The peppermint ones. A vanilla cupcake with a bit of peppermint mixed into the batter, peppermint butter cream and crushed candy canes. Now seein' how I came down with bronchitis and didn't feel all that hot, I decided to cut a few corners. Cake mix cake. Easy and dependable. I didn't have the energy to deal with an unknown batter. I can tell you one thing I learned; I made two different brands and they were quite different from each other. Very interesting.

So even though I decided to cheat on the cake, I didn't want to cheat on the frosting. So I ventured into the unknown world of this butter cream that I'd never seen before. It started with egg whites and sugar in a stainless bowl over boiling water. I had to whisk it continuously until it reached at least 160 degrees. This ensures the safety of the eggs, I believe. After which, the mixture is removed from the heat and you add your hand mixer on high until the mixture forms stiff peaks. The recipe said it would take about 5-6 minutes. After 10 minutes, I still didn't have stiff peaks. It was pretty droopy. So I figured, well even if this doesn't turn out, I need to see what will happen when I start to add the butter. So, one or two tablespoons at a time, I started dropping in softened butter. Not to bad for the first 2/3 of the called-for butter. And then all of a sudden the mixture changed into this thick, not very smooth looking something-or-other. So I tasted it. It was just like a really soft, really whipped up butter that had been sweetened a little bit. Nothing like what I imagined a butter cream frosting should be. Obviously, I had to make a run to the store for premade frosting, which I whipped up to make it fluffier, added some peppermint extract and piped it all lovely onto the cupcakes.

So there it is. Aside from the few recipes that call for a glaze, the rest use that basic butter cream, flavored in different ways. Strawberry butter cream, chocolate butter cream, almond, banana, caramel swirl, chocolate malt, coconut, white chocolate, chocolate mint..... I'm not sure what I'm going to do. Probably try the recipe again. Probably do some internet research. Maybe send a few food network emails begging for help. Who knows. But, hang tight. When I get it figured out or come up with a different plan, I will let you know.

Project

2011-01-07T15:41:00.003-07:00

I got a cookbook for Christmas. That one. ^^^ I have officially decided that I am going to systematically, from front to back, bake each and every cupcake in the book. I think I will learn a lot in the process. About new recipes, about cakes from scratch....may get better at the over-all appearance. The idea is that I will eventually have just the right recipes for scrumptious, moist and delectable cupcakes that will make your mouth sing! Sing, I tell you. The kind of cupcake you need to eat with a fork. Slowly. The kind that leaves you feeling entirely satisfied, enough that you don't have to eat two or three. Although you might want to.

I will let you know when I begin. As of now, I'm running a low fever and I don't feel so hot. Anyway - eventually, my neighbors are either going to love me for all of the free treats or hate me and wish I would just throw them out and stop it already. Especially because there are ::gulp:: 46 different recipes in the book. I might combine some into one project. For instance, the vanilla cupcakes are used six different times in the book - just dressed up in different ways. Sneak peeks, please?

Lime Meringue Cupcakes
Grapefruit and Buttermilk
Rosewater and Raspberry
Sour Cherry Almond
Coconut Lime
Mexican Chocolate
White Chocolate and Raspberry

Just a few tidbits to come.

P.S. If you'd like to sign up as a taster...I will be more than happy to bring the results over for you to try. Unless they don't turn out. Which is most certainly going to happen along the way.

Besty

2011-01-06T20:49:00.004-07:00

I don't have to explain friendship to you, right? I know you already get it. I hit the friend jackpot, I think. I feel a little bit silly writing this, but I'm sure you'll humor me and forgive my silliness. I had a 'friend' once who said to me, "The best friends I ever had were in the same time of life and stuff as I am. Same age of kids, maybe the same number of children," etc. I don't remember everything she said. That part of it stuck in my head, and then later I realized that she and I didn't have those things in common and it seemed she was telling me that I needed to look elsewhere. Hmmmph. Whatever. It stung a little bit and sort of hurt my feelings. But eventually life moved on, we moved, they moved. On to better things.

About 5 years ago, I met this cute girl with a baby girl the same age as mine. And it was her first girl too. And it was her third child too. And her boys were born in January just like mine. Same years as mine. It took about two and a half years after that before she and I started getting to know each other better. Our little girls are the bestest of frienemies, like sisters. They go to school together and gymnastics together and ballet together and they play babies and doll house. They sing and giggle and dress up and argue and compete. It's adorable. I'm fairly certain that my daughter will not get a biological sister. It's just the best that she has this little friend.

And her mother is the best too. I trust her implicitly with my children. I trust her with anything. I can tell her anything. She makes me laugh every day. She is the most cheerful, happy person I've ever known. She can be tender and funny and completely real all at the same time. She's beautiful. She can put down a large sweet pork salad like no one I've ever seen. She is amazingly talented in 5 million ways. Writing, crafting, decorating, baking, blogging, video making...takes awesome photos.... She's a great mom. She loves to laugh with her kids. Our girls at church adore her.

She has friends all over the country, it seems. Her friendships last and they span distances. I count myself blessed to call her my friend. I'm excited to watch our kids grow up together. I hope that they will always be close in school and in activities and all of that stuff. But I know that it won't matter where our lives may take us.

Love ya, m'lady! Hope you're not embarrassed. I may be too embarrassed to say this stuff to you irl, but somehow I wanted you to know. Big squeezy hug times ten.

Cupcakes. Again.

2010-12-21T14:21:00.002-07:00

Yeah, I have a lot of pictures of my last venture. But I don't have time to do that right now. Christmas is in 3 days, people! THREE DAYS!!!!

I'm posting to ask for suggestions or help or whatever. Today I delivered a big tray of cupcakes to the girl who cuts my hair. Cause I love her. Cause she's been doing my hair for 15 years. Cause....I don't know. Why not? Anyway, the woman in her chair when I came in freaked. She immediately asked for 'my card' and wanted to line up an order for her New Year's Day party. This lady was serious, you gize. She wants 150 mini cupcakes, divided into 4 different flavors. Here's my prob. What the heck do I call myself? I'd like to get Standsmom or Stands in there somewhere since it's my blog and stuff. I just thought it would be adorable if I could put a little card or something on the box when I deliver: "Handbaked by ___________" Or something like that. You know?

So let it fly you creative people! Tell me what you think.

Thanks!!!!!!

Happy ? Christmas-time

2010-12-17T08:16:00.002-07:00

It's been hard to get into the swing of things this Christmas. Maybe it's been the warm spring-like winter we're experiencing. At least today we finally have 1/8" of snow on the ground.

I've gone through the motions. Put up the decorations. Listened to Christmas music. Watched a few Christmas movies. I've been cranking out Christmas cupcakes (blog post to come...). But still - - - nothing.

I haven't been able to put my finger on it. Perhaps it's in my head? But today, Honey left for work and I stayed in bed longer to read. After a while, when I heard my bedroom door open, I just assumed it was one of the kids. So, I clicked my phone off and decided to pretend I was still asleep. It was Honey bringing me some fresh Starbucks hot chocolate. And in a brief flash, I felt it. That Christmas thing. The one that feels like magic? I don't know if it was something he said, or something about his surprise delivery? It's not completely abnormal for him to come back with hot chocolate like that. But I'm relieved now. That feeling really still does exist, I just have to find it now and get it to stay.

In the meantime, I have 48 more cupcakes to bake and deliver. I have a lot of wrapping to do. I have to plan all of the food, purchase, prepare, bake, etc. for our family. Oh man...and do I need groceries. I've got to get that over with. The longer I wait, the crazier it's going to get at the grocery store. I can't wait to finally hit the point where we can just lay around in our jammies.

Cakes Cakes Cakes

2010-12-02T17:17:00.011-07:00

Very photo intensive post. Sorry.

Jungle Cake/Cupcakes

These pictures are pretty bad. I usually get photography help from Landee or from my Honey. But I didn't have them around on this day.

Olivia Cake/Cupcakes

Photo credit goes to Landee. She is amazing.

Hunger Games / Blood and Roses

Checking Out

2010-11-10T18:00:00.003-07:00

Sometimes I go to the store for something specific and I can't find it. Or, lots of times. So then, I either skip it and decide I'll look somewhere else, or if I'm too tired to do driving around or if I'm pressed for time and I can't go anywhere else, I'll substitute it with something else. This happened today. I was at Costco. One of the most important things on my list was strawberries. I need red strawberries for Sassy's bday party. We are having lots of red food in honor of her favorite (and most appropriately so) characters. Olivia the Pig. Aaaaanyway....as my luck would have it, there weren't any strawberries. So, I settled for raspberries. Oh well. If I have a chance to run to a different store, I'll check for them again. If not, I've got the raspberries.

This description is getting far longer than I wanted it to be.

My point is that whenever I find myself in this situation and I go to the checkout, the cashier inevitably asks, "Did you find everything you were looking for today?" How do you handle this question? Today I smiled and said, "Yes I did. Thank you." (liar) Why do I do that? What happens when you admit that you didn't find everything you were looking for? What if I were to say, "Well, I really wanted some strawberries." What are they gonna say? That they don't have any? Duh. I already know that. Other items, non-perishable items, are often answered with, "We could call another store." Or, "Would you like us to ....(fill in the blank - order it for you, put your name on a list and call you when it comes in, etc.) I dislike every one of those answers. I just don't like holding up the line. I don't like being stuck in the checkout any longer than absolutely necessary.

And so, I lie. With a smile. "Yes I did. Thank you." But think to myself at the exact same time...'Nope. You were out of strawberries.' ::grumble::

Rules

2010-10-27T15:59:00.002-06:00

Rule Number 1: Do not buy Halloween candy that you want to eat.
Rule Number 2: After Halloween candy has been purchased, DO NOT OPEN. Especially if you broke Rule Number 1.
Rule Number 3: Enlist someone to hide the candy. This Rule is critical if you first, broke Rule Number 1 and then broke Rule Number 2.

I curse you mini Twix. CURSE you!!!!

Fall Break

2010-10-17T21:14:00.003-06:00

Fall break is crap. At this time last week, I thought I was going to love it. Sleeping in a little. No arguments over packing lunches or doing homework. No running around or being busy. Nope. Not so much.

Sleeping in is something I wish for, but rarely get to do. My children have this really awesome way of stomping around on the floor in the kitchen right below my bedroom when they wake up at 6 am. I have asked them a million times to stay on the carpet and quietly watch TV. They are entirely incapable. It's like sleep wipes out their brains and they forget everything I said the night before. The same way they still don't know what they're supposed to do every morning. ::envision the open mouth and the look of utter surprise:: "What? You want me to brush my teeth?"

Sure, over fall break we don't argue about packing lunches or doing homework. Just about how they have to cooperate with the things I have to get done. Which leads me to the 'no running around or being busy' thing.

The boys may be on fall break, but Sassy is not. She still has to be chauffeured to school and dance and gymnastics. I was going to keep her home for a few days this upcoming week so we could ALL be on fall break together. I may still be crazy enough to do one or two days. But after tonight, I feel like they all need to be quarantined to their own sections of the house and denied any access to each other. It's like this fast moving bipolar thing they have going on. One minute they're playing outside together like their the best of friends, laughing their heads off. The next minute, they're fighting and crying and insisting they just can't take 'so and so' anymore. Sassy tried to tattle on the boys by telling me that they were fighting. Apparently Link was saying really mean things to George. I asked her what things and she just shook her head and said she would tell me later (all accompanied with a little grin). I asked her why she started telling me then, and she said she just didn't want me to know. Which again led to the 'why are you talking to me about this if you're not really going to tell me anything?' Of course the little scamp is making stuff up. I think she just wanted to get me off my bed and away from my book. Besides, at that moment the boys were still getting along. It was 10 minutes later that everything suddenly escalated into a big argument, Wii controllers flying across the room, 10 yr old stomping off down the stairs and Honey saying, 'What's going on up there??'

Fine. I'll quit trying to read and be the referee. Now, I'm just sitting here dreading another week of fall break that really isn't a break. It's just.....the same old stuff. And that makes me wonder why I'm always running to catch something I can't ever catch. It's gonna cycle around again, right? When my kids are all in college or on missions or married? Maybe letting those things go is like letting go of a helium balloon. You never really want to, but there is some relief in watching it disappear into the sky. Except maybe I'll actually get it back. Doesn't seem very likely.

My Kitchen's Gonna Be Busy

2010-10-17T09:19:00.002-06:00

I have some stuff coming up. A special dessert for a family this Wednesday. Four small white fondant cakes due this weekend. A Caramel Pumpkin Gingersnap Cheesecake for a friend's birthday that I want to drop off next Sunday. Thirty-six or fourty-something cakeball cones for my nephew's baptism in two weeks. Maybe something fun for Halloween. At least thirty-six cupcakes for my son's football team end-of-the season get-together. And, ready for this one? One hundred cupcakes for our YW in Excellence on November 16. Somewhere along the way, I need to get one or two more nice cupcake pans/tins...what do you call them? Not to mention the things I may want to bake for Thanksgiving. We will be in NJ this year, but I know my husband will also want to have something here at home. He likes to have those leftovers in the fridge.

Moving on....I don't know if it's the fall weather. I don't know if it's my self-imposed cutting out of sugar, processed foods, soda and the like - for 30 days. But I want to bake. I want to cook. I want to buy food and make food and give food away because I don't want to eat it. Of course I WANT to eat it. But I don't want to, because my rear end doesn't need it. Nor does my middle section. (I've recently come to the conclusion that I gain weight in my stomach like my paternal grandmother AND my hips like my maternal grandmother. Double whammy!)

Do you want some food? Do you want me to make you a dessert and just drop it off on a random day? I would LOVE to! These are the things I have written down to try sometime in the near future. These are only the things I saw this morning on The Pioneer Woman.

Braised Short Ribs with Creamy Goat Cheese Polenta
The Bread
Tres Leches Cake
Cinnamon Bread
Bacon Onion Cheddar Biscuits
PW Dinner Rolls
The Pie That'll Make You Cry
Strawberry Shortcake Cake

This really is a short list. Notice the number of bread items? I have an unnatural fear of making bread. It makes me nervous. It freaks me out. And I can go years between attempts before I feel the urge to dig in and try again. The Bread is simple. It doesn't require me to actually make the bread. It's simply instructions on what to do with an already made loaf of french bread. Easy. Biscuits are easy. Mix and drop. No biggie. But homemade cinnamon bread and dinner rolls? I can already feel that knot in my stomach forming. Landee can make some tasty rolls. She ties them in a knot even. I've heard (only heard) about her orange rolls. This makes me feel like I might just have a chance. Maybe it's possible. Maybe I should beg her to teach me. Maybe I should just beg her to make them for me instead. Rest assured, my blogging readers (however few you may be) I will post my attempts and the results, regardless of how they turn out. Disasters teach us all a lesson, right?

Public Rudity

2010-10-13T20:54:00.003-06:00

When I have to go to the grocery store at night, I just want to quietly get the few things I need and get out. Self-checkouts are perfect for that. Tonight, I was surprised by the witchiness of the woman using the check-out next to me. She had to get some help from the lady and simultaneously asked her for a can of Skoal. Actually, the way she asked for it was complicated, like how people order their coffee. I guess chew isn't that simple anymore. Anyway, the checkout lady, just doing her job, asked her who she was buying it for. She said it was for her husband. Then very abruptly said, "Why?" The lady explained to her they just have to ask incase people are buying it for minors. The customer lady says, "I would never do that to my kids! I am just not the kind of person who would DO that!"

Here's what I would like to ask Miss Rude: Is this the first time you've ever bought chew for your totally hawt husband (with black things in his teeth, nasty breath and probably at high risk for throat cancer)? If it's not the first time, why are you being so nasty to the poor sales lady who's just doing what the law says she has to do? So annoying. Maybe she was grouchy because the fact that she's buying that nastiness for her hubby makes her really mad. Amen to that sister. Gross with a capital G. Gross.

Will I Ever Learn?

2010-10-10T09:47:00.002-06:00

I'm a few days into another stint of getting off sugar, unnecessary fat, processed foods and soda. I've done this several times now. Every time it's the same. I get a massive headache that lasts for 4 or 5 days, I feel like I have no energy, and I get grouchy. Why do those nasty foods do that to me? What are these food people doing to us? It amazes me that just cutting out that nastiness can make me feel so crappy. If I sit really still and concentrate on the pain in my head, it's almost like I can see the little ripples and waves all over the surface of my brain. Although last night and today, it's permeating my eyes too. I could hardly stand to watch TV last night. This morning my son wanted me to look at the clouds outside and I couldn't stand to lift my eyes to all of that light. As it is, I'm squinting here at the computer.

But srsly, am I ever going to learn? How do I manage to conveniently 'forget' after a detox? Is it my fault that some of that darn food tastes so yummy? And Diet Coke with lime is like heaven at 2:00 in the afternoon.

On the flipside, the rest of my body seems to be breathing a sigh of relief. Fresh veggies and fruit and lean proteins are making my system much happier. While giving up sugar for a while always feels like I lost my best friend, I know my body appreciates it. I can't stand to store up any of that stuff anymore anyway.

Sounds

2010-10-08T17:38:00.003-06:00

I love the sound of my wind chimes. They hang right outside my back door off the kitchen. It's a rare day here that there isn't at least a little breeze blowing. I'd love to have one of those chimes that's like 4 ft long. You know, the ones that have deeper tones? I love the sound of birds too. The Goldfinches are one of my favorites. I also love the sound of chickadees, robins, blue jays, flickers and hawks. Now that the kids are back in school and there are a few moments here and there when they are all gone, I rather enjoy the sound of my house entirely empty and quiet. No television or anything. Just the chimes outside, the clock ticking and the sound of my dog snoring in her big cushiony dog bed. Sometimes I just sit on the couch and listen to the nothing. Speaking of my snoring dog...wow. She's like an old man, the noises she makes sometimes. I don't know how such snoring can come out of a 15 lb dog, but it's rather amusing at times. I can say that I don't ever find it annoying. Even if I hear her in the middle of the night. I don't know why. It just never bugs me.

A good strong belly laugh from any of my kids is one of my favorite sounds too. George's is my favorite. I know I shouldn't pick favorites, but his true laugh is just a super joyful sound. There isn't another word for it. Link used to make him laugh when he was a little squirt and he'd lay his head back and just laugh and laugh. I also love to hear my daughter singing. She sings and sings and sings. Sometimes nonsense. Sometimes primary/school songs blended into each other. The pretending she does with her dolls or toys 'talking' to each other is pretty nice too.

"Can you come over to play?" "I'll have to ask my mom...hold on." "Mom!!! Can I go to my friend's house to play?" That sort of stuff.

I know there are a million other things I love to hear. One of my besties has a pretty awesome laugh. My husband was laughing himself to tears last night and that was cool. An entirely different sound than when he's just chuckling over something. The ding-ding of a text on my phone? Love that. The sound of me picking up the phone on a 1-800 call and immediately hanging up. Necessary and very satisfying. What sorts of things do you like listening to?

Right now, I have to leave the quiet of my peaceful house and head off to help someone with a cake.

Coconut Cake

2010-10-03T13:40:00.006-06:00

Today's cake adventure began a couple of weeks ago. I sat down with Honey to watch some tv after the kids had gone to bed and one of my favorite Food Network guys was on. He was doing a whole show on coconut and coconut cake. I loved it! So, I decided this weekend to dig in and give it a try.

Part One:
The Coconut. I have spent the better part of my day piercing, draining, baking, cracking, peeling, grating, boiling, soaking, and more draining two whole coconuts to create; a pile of freshly grated coconut, a 1/2 cup each of homemade coconut cream and coconut milk and a liquid measuring cup full of coconut water (the liquid I drained from the inside of the coconut to begin with). Apparently you can also soak some of this coconut in vodka for 5-7 days to create your own extract, but I cheated on that one element and bought some at the store. After completing all of that, I began the cake. Fluffy unsalted butter, sugar, the homemade coconut milk and cream, cake flour, etc. mixed accordingly and then folded in with some stiff egg whites. It is now in the oven in the pans that I oiled and lined with parchment. Which I then oiled again and dusted with flour. My sink is over flowing with mixing bowls, whisks, spatulas, measuring spoons and measuring cups. My counter and mixer are dusted with flour. My arm is tired from hand grating coconut and whisking egg whites. This better be the best darn coconut cake on the planet. And despite his aversion to the texture of coconut, Honey better have a bite or two. I already know of a couple of people who will be hand delivered a large piece. You know it's for my own good that I can't keep the entire cake in my own house. I will most certainly be without sufficient self-control to avoid eating. it. all.

Part Two:
The Cake. With nervousness and anticipation, I check on the cakes with 5 minutes left on the timer. This is important, you gize. Sometimes they're done sooner and I know that my ovens usually bake things a little faster. And my top and bottom ovens don't bake the same as each other. Homemade from scratch cakes are a lot harder to create and the results are hard to predict. I've tried things before that didn't work out, I think because of my elevation. Anyway, after checking, the cakes are done 5 minutes early. They aren't perfect and smooth on top like a box mix. The one from the bottom oven has sunk down a little bit in the middle. But I'm reserving judgment. Once each layer is split and stacked with frosting and stuff, it won't really matter what it looked like when it came out of the oven. Right? Right. The cakes, after cooling, are dense and sort of heavy. The recipe says to cut each layer in half, then giving your finished cake 4 thin layers, but I am too afraid to try. So I just sliced off the crisp top of each layer and brushed them with coconut water. The pieces I've removed taste AWESOME.

Part Three:
The Frosting. Egg whites, sugar, coconut water, salt...in a stainless bowl, sitting on top of a pot of simmering water, with an extension cord attached to my hand mixer so it will reach my cooktop. After 7 minutes of beating and an addition of coconut and vanilla extracts, I have a beautiful bowl of marshmallowy, white and fluffy fantastic frosting. Oh. my. gosh. I never thought in a million years I'd be able to make a successful batch of 7 min Frosting.

Part Four:
Assembly. Since I'm wimping out and refusing to try a 4 layer cake, assembly was easy. The cake layers are moist. A blob of frosting on the cake plate, first layer down. Frosted and lightly sprinkled with my fresh coconut. Second layer on, the entire thing frosted and sprinkled with more coconut. This made a huge mess because I was tossing it, but the cake looks fantastic. Now it has to sit in the refrigerator for at least 30 minutes before serving. Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick..........

Part Five:
The Final Test - Eating. As I mentioned above, the cake is pretty dense. With all of the frosting and coconut and coconut flavor, it's also quite rich. I rather enjoyed it. Honey did have a couple of bites and thought it tasted very good. My neighbor said it was too good. My kids didn't like it. Why would I do that much work for one cake? Well, why not? Why not try the hard recipe, go to all of the effort once to do it just like the recipe and see what happens? I learned how to disassemble a coconut. I learned how to make successful 7 min frosting. I learned that if I make this cake again, it won't be for a long time and it will only be for grown ups. This is not a kid cake. I offer a huge thank you to Alton Brown for this fantastic cake adventure today. Now, I'm tired. And full.

The Cake Event

2010-09-29T12:00:00.003-06:00

So I promised pictures. Here is the picture of the cake/cupcakes she asked me to make.

I know right? The cutest ever. The quality of the photos I have is crappy. But...whatdyado? I would have asked my super awesome really good at taking photos Landee to help me out, but she already had her hands full with soccer games/football games/and normal Saturday madness. Next one tho? Please? Anyway .......

The full tower. What you don't see are the cheerios I used underneath the hippos and elephant to elevate the cupcake a little forward. Looked much better.

The zebra. I waited until absolute last to make this little guy. He terrified me. He took nearly and hour to complete. And see that stripe behind him with the zebra stripes on it? That took quite a long time too. I picked off teensy little pieces of brown fondant, rolled them in my hand and then pressed them onto the strip before using a little knife to cut the top and bottoms off to make them level. I'm sad to say that I used two different frostings too. You can tell the difference in the photo. One is a decorator frosting, less shiny. The other is a yummy frosting from the store that I colored and piped on.

The happy parents who threw the most awesome 1st birthday party any little girl has ever had. Hooray! She said everyone loved the cupcakes. It was by no means a perfect execution. But I think for what she paid me, it turned out pretty darn good.

My Cake Adventure

2010-09-23T09:32:00.002-06:00

This Saturday I will be delivering the first cake I've evereverever been paid to make. Needless to say I'm super nervous and super excited and absolutely desperate that it all happen without incident. I want to show you pics of what I've been asked to make, but I'm going to wait until I can post a pic of the original followed by a pic of my attempt. It involves a combination of cupcakes, a small cake, fondant, frosting, tricky color copying and zoo animals. Namely two hippos, a giraffe, a zebra, a monkey and an elephant. When I agreed to do it I was really nervous that I was so absolutely in over my head. I promised that I wouldn't give her a ridiculous attempt; that it would be as close to perfect as I can get it. This is where I have to give credit to Cake Wrecks. If you haven't checked this website out - do! Not only is she very very funny, the pictures of the professional cakes that bakeries send out are unbelievable. Based on the stuff that I see on her site, I'm almost convinced I could have a successful cake business. I don't want to get thrown into something overwhelming or too time consuming. But I hope that once a month or every couple of months I'll get an opportunity to make something for someone. There's a chance I will be making some roses and butterflies for a friend next month. Hooray!! And I'm responsible for the treats at our upcoming YW in Excellence in November.

A little sidenote? Today I started the baking. I added a box of instant pudding to the cake mix along with an extra egg. I also followed the high altitude instructions, adding two tablespoons of flour, and extra tablespoon of water and an extra tablespoon of oil. It took forever to bake, but came out gorgeous. And then I realized that I'd used the required 1 1/3 cups water but duplicated that measurement for the oil. There was only supposed to be 1/3 cup of oil. I put in 1 1/3 cups, plus one tablespoon!!! What in the world??

What happened? Oh my heavens! What a mistake - producing the most moist cake ever. Ever. I can't wait to frost and eat one of the extra cupcakes.

Fall

2010-09-16T09:49:00.002-06:00

I love fall. Absolutely adore fall. My two favorite seasons are fall and spring. Probably because they are transitional, and because their temperatures are so comfortable. Not too hot, not too cold. A happy somewhere in between 60 and 75 is the best. Probably also because I was born in the fall. And because fall represented the beginning of a new school year, spring the long-anticipated end of the school year.

Aaaaaanyway.....I decorate a lot easier for fall. The decor items sitting around for every day are pretty lame. But you give me some pumpkins and some fall leaves and I'm in heaven. My house is already painted in a lot of fall-ish colors (ferduh). I have a chocolate wall, taupe, dark green and a warm cranberry red. Fall colors are awesome. Browns, greens, warm oranges, eggplant. Other things I love? Cinnamon, caramel apples, chili, tomato curry soup - suede, scarves and sweaters. You're smiling just a little bit now, aren't you? Nevermind if it's because you think I'm weird. In fact, fall has such an effect on me that you'd be shocked to know I was actually scrubbing off individual fake raspberries/blackberries with an old tooth brush because they were really dusty. I love the way they look with my fall stuff. I put them on the back of my piano in an old brick red pitcher, next to some gorgeous orange pumpkins. Sassy dropped my green porcelain pear this morning and it broke into about 50 pieces. I was grouchy about that. I loved that pretty little pear. Hmmph. I suppose I better scoooch on over to the 'hobby' place and have a looksie. You know....just in case.

Dragonfly

2010-09-14T11:21:00.002-06:00

Dragonflies are awesome. Did you know they begin their life under-water? They can live underwater anywhere from 1-3 years before they ever emerge and begin to fly? I just think that's very, very cool. Plus they're fun to watch. Plus they eat bugs like mosquitoes.

Do you remember that part on You've Got Mail when she says in one of her emails to Joe that she saw a butterfly on the subway? She watched it get on and then get off and suspected it was going to Bloomingdales to buy a hat - 'which will end up to be a mistake, as all hats are.' Love that movie.

Today I saw a dragonfly as I was sitting in my car at an intersection. The cars began to drive through and in the right-hand lane, directly in front of me, he flew right across the street as if he were following traffic. All the way across in a straight line. It made me smile.

Mom in a Poem

2010-09-13T20:27:00.003-06:00

Tomorrow is my birthday. Tonight my 10 yr old Link gave me a birthday poem.

"Mom makes awesome food,
She loves me, George and Sassy!
She has a boy in football
She has a girl in ballet
And another boy who just isn't interested.

YOU ARE THE BEST MOM EVER!"

Electronics

2010-09-13T10:58:00.003-06:00

How much time a day do I spend on some sort of electronic device? My husband says my iPhone is always 'glued' to me. That doesn't mean I'm always looking at it. I do pat my right back pocket about 5 million times a day, just to be sure it's still in there. I feel disconnected if I have to leave it in my purse or my car. I check my email often. Facebook. Reader. Various games. I have reminders on my phone for gymnastics, ballet, piano, football practices 1, 2, and 3, football games on Saturdays, YW activities, scouts, and preschool. Among those regularly occurring events I have interspersed irregular activities, like the dentist and stuff. Let me tell you, I would miss or be late for most of those if I didn't have my phone dinging at me an hour beforehand and showing me why I have to get ready. But then there is my iPad, which for now is used mostly for reading, gaming, facebook and recreational purposes. I haven't entirely slid over to using it for documentation, blogging, and whatever else. My husband's iPad has become indispensable for him at work. He's discovered how to integrate it in amazing ways. Moving on, I have an iPod and a shuffle. We have three cordless phones and one stationary. Two computers, one laptop, a small camera, a bigger camera (the cameras I don't use very often simply because I don't know how) a printer/fax/scanner combo, several tvs and what else? A few cordless keyboards, a couple of cordless mouses, a couple of external hard drives. I even have a digital thermometer for cooking.

I was just wondering how often I find myself searching the house for a charger. How much time do I spend monitoring my devices, keeping and eye on their charge, cleaning the screen, updating, downloading, rebooting, syncing. Or perhaps even searching for a cordless phone because my cell needs to charge and I have to make a call. Or because the person I want to make contact with doesn't text (grrrrrrrrr) and I have to actually call them on the phone. Or because I need to talk on the phone while I'm doing something else, but my iPhone is too skinny and slippery to hold it between my shoulder and my ear. I have experienced the slip and fall on that deal - right into the toilet. A very sad day. I have a thought about something and automatically gravitate toward the computer/iPad/iPhone to look it up on Google. I can find nearly everything I need to know right there. Google it. CeeCee Wilkes would have saved herself a lot of heartache if she'd been able to just Google a couple of things before she got in the mess she did. I might have saved myself a few messes too, if I could have Googled in high school. Can you imagine?

Things are easier, and so much more complicated. Either way, I would never give up all of my devices for less complicated. I like having so much access to information and groovy new things. I love the App store, iTunes, Amazon Kindle books, iBooks, Google images, blogspot, weatherbug, my scriptures app, my banking app, TEXTING!!!!!YAY!, Words with Friends, Facetime, my calculator, Convertbot, the Chipotle app (oh yeah), Shazam, Flixster, and even....yes even clicking my phone on in the middle of the night and using it as a flashlight while I walk up the stairs in the dark or search for chapstick in the middle of the night. I'll admit I've even propped my phone under my chin to shed light on a book I'm reading in the middle of the night. It works. It doesn't wake up my husband and I can get in a good few chapters on the nights when I can't sleep.

So maybe my phone is almost always glued to me. If you call and I don't answer, it's probably because I'm in the middle of something. Rarely because I didn't have my phone nearby. How much time on my electronics. A lot. A lot of time.

Finally!

2010-09-13T07:53:00.001-06:00

UV protected windows???

2010-09-11T13:41:00.000-06:00

What hides under the couch

2010-09-11T12:43:00.001-06:00

Wwwwater.

2010-09-11T07:24:00.002-06:00

I have issues with water. First because if I'm not thinking about it I can go entire days without a single sip. I'm one of those people who walks around borderline dehydrated, self-imposed of course, most of the time. ::considering my headaches...hmmmmmmmm:: Diet Coke with lime is fantastic, but I do realize that it's not a sufficient source of hydration. Hard to believe for how often it makes me have to go. ::winky guy::

Aaaanyway - my purpose for a post on water is because me and honey were having a discussion about water and he was picking on me. I like to have a big drink after I brush my teeth at night before I go to bed. But I'm particular about which water I will do that with. For instance, there is a stark difference between kitchen water and bathroom water. Bathroom water tastes funny. So when we were headed to bed and I had forgotten to bring up a glass of water from downstairs, he was trying to convince me that the water in our bathroom is perfectly fine. No. No it's not.

Where did this all start, I wonder. I used to hate drinking water from the bathroom in the teeny little paper cups when I was a kid. It tasted different and I knew it wasn't my imagination. So bathroom water became designated for teeth brushing and washing only.

There was a time when I was about 19, living in some cruddy apartment in capitol hill Denver...a time that helped me develop my massive allergy to cockroaches (mull that over for a few minutes and get back to me). The water would come out of the tap cloudy. I would try to tell myself - it's just bubbles. Lots and lots of teeny tiny bubbles. But when the water was still cloudy after sitting in the glass for some time, I'd be left to face the truth. Not bubbles. Gross. That's what it was. Gross. And so I promptly began drinking bottled water. I'd buy it in this 5 gallon jug thingy with a built in pour spout and just stick it in the fridge. Then, when I wanted a drink - I would get it from there. Not the stinky, cloudy, gross tap. Ew. Oh and a side note to bottled water; it all tastes different from each other too. Unsurprisingly, there are some I will drink and some I won't. This makes trips to my in-laws a little more difficult because I cannot drink their tap water or the bottled water they buy. So, Honey is very accommodating and will taking me to the Wawa to get the stuff I like. Isn't he sweet?

And so my water discrimination lives on. I am pleased to say that there is a built-in filter to the water spout in the fridge. And it comes out really cold. If I were dying, or whatever, I could - with a lot of psychological effort - drink out of the kitchen tap. I have neighbors who do it all the time. They're not dead. I think they might even like it. But from the bathroom? I couldn't. Ok I could if the world were coming to an end and I looked like one of those dehydrated doods on I Shouldn't Be Alive. I could drink bathroom water then. But here in my extraordinarily blessed life, I am just picky enough that when I want a drink of water it needs to come from the right place.

Mother Goose

2010-09-09T18:45:00.003-06:00

You've seen them before, right? The mother goose with her fluffy little babies waddling along behind her. She must be headed somewhere. Or is it just an exercise in following? Cause really, what do geese have to do? Eat, fly, migrate, make more geese. What's my point, you ask? Just that sometimes when I'm herding my kids through a parking lot I feel like a mama goose. I have these smaller versions of people tagging along behind me. Today, we barely missed a car backing out of a parking spot who wasn't paying attention. And what do we have to do? Making dinner, running around, football-preschool-teacher meetings-school pictures, and...no. Not making any more. This little gaggle is plenty for me.

T is for Toilet Paper

2010-09-03T20:48:00.003-06:00

Awww man. Out again? Every time I need to come in here and use the bathroom, the stupid roll is empty and nobody ever replaces it. Dang it! There aren't any extra rolls in the basket either? There were three whole rolls here a couple of days ago! Who is using all of this toilet paper anyway???

This is the internal dialog I had with myself this afternoon. Does anyone, and I mean anyone, run to the bathroom the very first time they feel the need? Or do you wait until your body has already told you 500 times? Which means that when I finally decide to go, it's time. It. Is. Time. I love that empty roll with the little shreds of paper hanging off. I love that my powder room has a toilet and a pedestal sink and NO where to store anything. So, I've resorted to a little basket nearby for storing toilet paper and how on earth is it that we go through approximately 1 roll of paper per day? How? I don't really have to have a family meeting to discuss toilet paper usage, do I? There are 5 people in our family. One of which, I'm pretty sure, uses little to none. One who makes a wad about the size of a baseball every time. Another that I can hear - through the door - pulling paper off the roll. "thududududududud." "Thududududududududud." "Thudududududududud." Holy crap, I'm thinking. What kind of a mess are you cleaning up in there anyway??? Nevermind. Those two are probably the bulk of our TP users and I probably just answered my own question.

Oh yeah....the Blog!!

2010-08-30T20:32:00.002-06:00

I have a blog!?!? Uh...hi! Been a while, huh? So sorry.

Why is re-entry always so hard? I just spent 3 nights away. By myself. All alone. And 10 minutes after I got home, Honey left for his FFL draft and I was left with the chaos. And why is it chaos? Does it have to be? I'm bringing my stuff in and unpacking and letting the kids run around outside. I'm taking a shower and telling the boys to start getting ready for bed when one of them mentions their homework. WHA???? You haven't done your homework??? I got home at 6:30. Nobody told me they didn't do their homework and I'm letting them screw around. You must understand that after a certain period of time, my boys' brains cease functioning in the evening and I won't be able to get any decent homework out of them.

Honey was awesome while I was gone and shampooed some of the carpets. They look fantastic! On the flipside, the loft looks like Sassy threw a slumber party for all of her dolls and every blanket she could find. And can I just say - after my politically correct disclaimer that yes. Board games are an awesome way to spend time with your kids. To teach them things and stuff. Right? Yes. I agree. But despite all of that garbage - I. hate. board. games. Hate them! My kids are constantly getting them out of the closet, scattering the pieces, breaking the boxes, losing parts and never putting them away. Sassy's room is not only littered with the usual nonsense, but it also has the Operation game scattered from one end to the other. I hate board games. If it weren't for the fact that they are supposed to be so awesome, I'd get rid of all of them. Heave ho and goodbye. They're like....making real, from scratch, cookies with your kids. How often does that happen??

I don't mean to sound so snooty. I did spend almost the entire weekend alone. I adore being alone. I went to bed when I felt like it, which ranged anywhere from 9:30 to 2:30. I slept until my body decided to wake up. I took a nap in the afternoon. I ate when my body decided it was hungry. Breakfast was at 11. Dinner at 9:00. I took a ton of snacks with me and hardly ate any of them. I know - weird, right? I had some sewing to do, which I loved. I left it in the same place the entire weekend and nobody moved it or messed around with it or silently implied that it might be in the way. I watched 8 freaking movies. Yes. 8. What's that? Oh, sure. Here they are:

Pride and Prejudice
Date Night
Remember Me
Under the Tuscan Sun
Julie and Julia
Sense and Sensibility
You've Got Mail
The Holiday

By far, my favorite of the weekend was Julie and Julia. LOVED it! Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Under the Tuscan Sun and You've Got Mail are the ones I watch everytime I'm at the cabin alone. I adore those movies. The one I need to buy and donate to the cabin is French Kiss. I really like that one too. All I'm going to say about Remember Me is WHY????? Why was that movie made? Landee will occasionally point out that there are some stories or things that have NO point. What is the purpose of that movie? It ticked me off. After the end, I couldn't figure out why I'd spend and hour and a half leading up to it to be lead off the edge of a cliff. What the heck just happened??

It was rather quiet at the cabin, I must say. It helps that there isn't any phone, no cell service, no internet and no cable. The animals were scarce. Until the last day, of course. Then there were squirrels and chipmunks everywhere, birds and a deer and a big huge young male moose. He not only spent a long time grazing and licking the salt block, but squatted and pee'd the longest pee I've ever seen in my life. This may have had an impact on me because it was at 9:00 this morning and he was right next to the bathroom and I had to wait until he left so I could use the bathroom. And he stood there and pee'd. Do you think I want some big 'ol moose charging me? No sir. I just patiently waited until he was finally gone.

You'd be proud of me. This time I actually walked to the bathroom (which is an outhouse about 30 ft from the cabin) by myself after dark. Even at 1:00 in the morning. I may or may not have spent a great deal of time on the porch scanning the woods with my flashlight before I finally felt reassured, sort of, that I'd make it there and back safely. And I promise it wasn't like the SpongeBob when he has to take the trash out at night and runs with it over his head screaming the entire way. It wasn't like that. Outwardly. I even went out there after dark twice. Two whole times.

I got to see two of my sisters and my parents. Brief but nice. I think I'll be doing this alone weekend again next summer. Next time I'll take some pictures. I didn't take a single one. Nothing. "Just noooo more 3 by 5's......" Do you know that song?? I'll give you a brownie button if you can tell me who sings it.

I'm a Nature Lover

2010-06-30T15:37:00.006-06:00

This is a Tree Swallow.

About 6 years ago, my Dad made me a bird house out of old fence wood from my grandpa's farm. Then about 4 years ago we had a pair of these gorgeous Tree Swallows move in, have their babies and move out. They've come back every year since. I love watching them. They spend several days in and out just checking the place out. Then they start going back and forth with dry grass and feathers they find other places. It takes them about two weeks to get all of that done.

I can always tell when they have eggs in the nest because they start switching places in the house. One comes in and the other leaves to go eat. They trade places like this for about two more weeks. The baby birds hatch and the parents spend all day bringing them bugs. Once in a while, I get a chance to peek in and there are 4 babies this year.

This is what we saw going on about 3 days ago.

That little guy kept sticking his little head up. His eyes weren't open yet and his little neck seemed kinda wobbly. Link and I parked our camp chairs in the grass and just watched him. Funny, but he reminds me of the little bird from the book Are You My Mother (one of my absolute favorites). Remember that??

Today, I took a few more pictures. It's so dang hot and the house just sits in the sun all afternoon. I don't know how those little birds don't cook to death in there.

Their eyes are open now and they sit and watch the sky for one of their parents to come back.

With bugs.

And then the mama posed for me a second. Actually, I think she was checking me out, trying to decide if she needed to be worried or not.

I don't think she was.

Isn't she cute?? The dad is a little more shy and doesn't hang around long. But she will go in and feed them and mess around for a little while before she leaves. This whole process seems so quick. One of these days, very early in the morning, these little birds will just fly off and then the house will be empty. We've never seen them leave. Only woken up to find the place deserted. Amazing they can hop out for the first time and just be able to fly.

I Loved It

2010-06-30T15:09:00.003-06:00

I loved it. I LOVED it.

I. Loved. It.

I didn't expect to feel the same way after this movie that I did after New Moon.
But I do.
And I have to see it again.

Anyone??

Summer Vacay

2010-06-28T09:20:00.002-06:00

Today starts the planning for our only summer vacation. It seems odd to me that we are only going on one family trip this summer. Usually there's at least another. But we've decided to postpone our visit to NJ until October. I guess cause Honey has been gone so much. I might walk out the door when he gets home from India and be gone for a couple of days. Ummmm....no. Can't do that. Anyway - the main purpose for this post was to share with you the hard work and dedication that comes with our trip to the cabin in WY. Here is some stuff about the last time we were there.

Darn it if I can't find a single picture of the front of the cabin. It's mind-boggling. I've been there a million times.

So I asked my mom. She says the cabin was built in 1943. I believe her dad and her grandpa built it together. We went there a lot when I was a kid. I loved it when all of a sudden in the summer, my mom would say - let's just go to the cabin this weekend. And we'd pack up and leave in the evening and get there just before dark.

The cabin has a lot of niceties, but it's still rustic. For instance, it has carpet and electricity. Running water, a tv, and heat. The rustic comes from; no cable, no internet, no phone. The water runs, but it comes from the creek behind the cabin and you can't drink it. Giardia. The toilet is an outhouse about 20 feet from the cabin. Wait!! Before you make some face over the outhouse, I'll just tell you it is the cleanest, best smelling outhouse EVER. Seriously. In fact, I'm just gonna get a picture of the thing for you this year and I'll be posting that later. ::grin::

We share this cabin between three families. They branch from my mom and her two sisters. Collectively there were 12 grandchildren and we are all grown up and mostly married with children. So my mom keeps the calendar and we have to call her and schedule our time to stay. The rule is that you only get to take up one weekend per visit. We usually leave here on a weekend and come home at the end of the week, but this year, we're leaving on a Monday and coming home on a Monday.

Geez...how am I talking so much? I haven't even told you what I have to do for this trip yet. My mom lives only 45 minutes from the cabin, so it's not too much trouble for her to take care of laundry and get it back to the cabin. However, she doesn't want to do it for everyone who stays there. Can you blame her?? So, we take our own towels and sheets. Aside from a few staples in the cupboards, the kitchen is always kept bare. Nobody wants stinky old yucky stuff in the fridge or ants in the kitchen. So, I have to pack every single food item, including water. Then, I have to plan and pack for myself and the three kids. Honey takes care of any camping supplies we decide to take up, the ATV and his clothes.

Every year I get out a sheet of paper and I write down the days we're going to be there. I plan three meals per day. Then I have to break down every meal into ingredients and build my grocery list from that. For example, if we're going to have Landee's awesomefantasticamazing German Pancakes for breakfast, I would mix up the dry ingredients at home and put them in a ziploc bag, then I have to make sure I have the eggs, milk, butter and syrup. So, like camping. Except that we drive 8 1/2 hours to get there. We generally only get to go once a year. Probably good though because it's SO much work.

Remember that Spongebob Episode where he's supposed to write an essay about what not to do at a stop light? And he spends ALL night coming up with other things to do so he won't have to work on it?? I guess that's what I'm doing right now. I need three more dinner ideas and I'm drawing a total blank. I guess I thought if I did this, they would come it me in the process. Not so lucky. Dang!

P.S. I hope you all are planning on going to the movie Tuesday night. Whoooohoooooo! Eclipse better be good. It just better.

Titanium

2010-06-23T09:29:00.001-06:00

I’m getting old. Yes. I am. I’m still 5 years younger than Honey. (sorry Honey) And still not in my 40’s. I shouldn’t be complaining, I know.

I’ve always had 20/20 vision. Always been kind of happy about that. All of a sudden this year I learn that I need bifocals. Bifocals????? I foolishly went for two different pairs of glasses instead and now I regret it. I should have just swallowed my pride and accepted my fate. Now I have to wait until the insurance swings back around before I can get a new set of frames.
The other thing that tells me I’m old is my shoulder. Although, to be fair to myself, it’s my shoulder that’s old. I broke it when I was twelve. Flew off the front of my bike racing down a hill, landed on my face, slid for who knows how far, rolled over and snapped the ball of my shoulder in half. Also messed up my growth plate, so if you spend a few seconds and really look at me, you’ll see that clearly my left arm is shorter than my right. Plus, the bone healed kind of rotated a little off and…well – it’s lame. I remember my grandfather telling me at the time that it would never be the same. He was very, very right.

It actually seemed like not a big deal until the year I turned 30. All of a sudden, it was like something snapped and I was in pain all the time. I lost about 75% of my mobility. My regular dr sent me to physical therapy.

(I learned some interesting things there, btw. For instance, she thought I was a swimmer because my shoulders are broad, but I’m not. And the reason is because my ligaments are naturally really loose, and my muscles have to make up for that. Thus, bigger muscles in my shoulders to essentially hold my arms together. Groovy, huh?)

Anyway, after several weeks of therapy and getting worse instead of better, I went to an orthopedic surgeon and had an MRI. Apparently, I had several bone spurs, a torn labrum (the thing that professional pitchers tear) and very little cartilage left in my shoulder. The ball of my shoulder is shaped more like an egg, instead of being nice and round. He shaved off the bone spurs, repaired the tear and tried to fix it up as best he could. He gave me 8-10 years before needing a full shoulder (ball and socket) replacement, but said I’d be very lucky to make it to 8. Titanium body parts! Awesome!!! He also told me it would take several years for me to completely heal and recover from that surgery. He was right. I spent approximately 7? weeks in physical therapy, which was just voluntary torture. After that, I did stuff on my own at home and over about 4 years I noticed very slow and gradual improvements. I went from >25% mobility to about 80%. I can finally lift my left arm up above my head and get something off the shelf (as long as it only weighs a few ounces) and I don’t have to use my right arm to help it back down afterwards.

Anyway, everything seemed pretty stable, but a few months ago, I noticed it starting to kind of hurt. Sometimes for a couple of days. Sometimes for a full week. More recently, I’ll be totally fine and reach for something and get a big zing. Today, I folded a towel and tossed it up to hang it over the top of the shower door and ‘wham’. It really stinks. And now, I’m very sore. It hurts to just sit here and type. Dang it!!!

I’ve read about shoulder replacements. We want to wait as long as possible because they’re only good for about 10 years. But if we wait too long, and I lose a bunch of mobility before the surgery, I won’t restore that mobility afterwards. They do a large incision across the front of the shoulder, cut off the bone partway down and drill into it to place in a new top with a ball. I don’t really know how they replace the socket. I’m not very excited to find out. The fun part is that I’ll get to carry some cool thing when I go to airports so they don’t freak out when I set off all of the alarms going through security. The part I dread is the pain. Pain from the surgery. Pain through recovery. More than anything I dread physical therapy. It’s bad you guys. Bad! Plus I have fun memories from the first surgery, like waking up partway through and hearing him working. I even asked him questions about what he was doing. They very quietly shuffled around and knocked me out again. When I got home, I was very sick to my stomach and couldn’t keep anything down. So, I had no pain meds in my system. The block they’d put on my shoulder started wearing off and it felt like a combination of superduperbad pins and needles combined with a really intense burning pain all the way down my arm. I felt like all I could see was red and orange and red. I think I even told Honey several times that it was all red. Pain like a 25 on a scale of 1-10. The pain only made my nausea worse. Eventually, I was able to take something, and after too many hours I finally got it mostly under control.

Gosh, I’m excited. I’m old. My dr told me my shoulder is like 80, even though the rest of my body is in it’s mid-thirties. So, before long, I’ll have a titanium shoulder to match my bifocals and who knows what after that! Maybe cataracts. Maybe arthritis. How did this happen? My brain still thinks I’m like 25.

Fun at the Pool

2010-06-22T08:49:00.002-06:00

George isn’t the best swimmer. He can dog paddle and stuff, but he still needs a lesson or two. We keep an extra eye on him. Yesterday we decided to try out a different pool. George wanted to go off the diving board, but was too afraid to do it without his noodle. He waited in line, got up there, and the lifeguard told him no. I was close enough to watch, but far enough away that I couldn’t hear anything. I saw George pull out some fast tears and wipe at his eyes. He said something to the lifeguard about not wanting to go without it. Then, like something snapped, he spun around, tossed the noodle off the end of the diving board and ran off the end into the water before anyone could say anything to him. Honey went over to get after George and apologize to the lifeguard.

George then moved to the slide. He’d already been down it about 10 times. Luckily, the pool depth at the bottom was shallow enough for him. However, I looked up to see him stomping away from the slide. He’s crying, wiping his eyes, lifting his swim shirt to wipe his face off. And best of all, he’s muttering to himself. I’m thinking, ‘Oh great. Now what?’

Me: “What’s the problem now?”
George: (still crying) “They won’t let me go off the diving board and they won’t let me go down the slide!”
Me: “They won’t let you go down the slide?? Why??”
George: “Because of my shirt.”
Me: “Well then…take your shirt off.”
George: (crying immediately ceases and he looks at me with wide eyes) “Won’t chlorine kill you?”
Me: (trying not to laugh) “George……….it’s all over your arms and your legs. It’s not going to kill you.”
George: “But won’t it burn me?”
Me: “No, George. It won’t.”
George: (bursting into a fresh set of tears) “Link is always lying to me!!!!”
Me: (realizing in it’s pure form, chlorine probably would burn you) “If it were sitting here all by itself and you touched it or something, it probably would hurt your skin. But they take a teeny bit of chlorine and put it in all of this water and it won’t hurt you. Okay?”
George: “Okay.”
Me: “Take off your dang shirt and go down the slide.”

George bravely peeled the shirt off and went down the slide. At the bottom, he stood up, shot both fists into the air in a big ‘y’ and yelled, “Woooohooooooooooo!!!!”

How did I not know that every time we went to the pool, my kid thought the chlorine was going to kill him? He never acted afraid. I guess he thought his swim shirt would save him. The liberation on his face after that slide though, was fantastic.

"You Owe Me BIG......"

2010-06-02T09:23:00.002-06:00

We just came off Memorial Day Weekend. All I can think is that it's lame we still have 4 days of school after that. Lame. Honey was gone to NJ for the weekend. I was basically on vacation. We neglected the dishes, we played lot's of Wii, ate Sonic outside in the sunshine for lunch, played in the street with the neighbors, stayed up way too late. We had a swarm of honey bees move into the backyard. The boys got a rash all over their faces and Link got sick in the middle of the night and stayed home from school yesterday. So you can imagine how thrilled I was this morning, as I'm getting ready to run to the airport to pick up Honey, when the phone rings and it's Link from the school.

"Mom. I forgot my invention."
"What??"
"I forgot my invention."
"When is it due?"
"Today."
"What?? ::long pause:: When is the convention?"
"In about 10 minutes. At 8:40."
"What??? Where is it?"
"I think it's under my bed."

This is where I cut away from our lame conversation to tell you that now I'm walking up the stairs holding the phone, to look under Link's bed.

"It's not even put together Link. There are a couple of things here, but I don't see the pulley or anything. Where is that?"
"I don't know."
"What do you want me to do?"
"I don't know. ::very long pause:: I guess I'll have to tell Mr. C that I don't have it."

:: major mom-failed guilt ::

So we hang up and I start digging around in the lego box. After a lot of searching, I finally have his invention put back together, functional and by 9:00 we're headed out the door.

Link's invention is a ramp that runs along the stairs to our back yard with a little cart on it. The cart is attached to a pulley. The point of the cart is so our dogs can go up and down without having to use the stairs because they're old and their little extra long old lady backs can't handle it as well as they used to.

Anyway, I ran his little contraption over to the school and while all the other kids are in the classroom showing off their conventions, Link is sitting in the hall alone, retaking some math test. I gave him his invention and said one thing.

"You owe me Big!"

How does this happen? Where do you draw the line? He had two or three weeks to work on this thing. Is it my fault because I forgot about it and forgot to remind him? Is it his fault because he forgot about it and his mom never reminded him? Is it his Dad's fault because he's the engineer in the family and I was really really really hoping he would entirely take care of it? Sadly, I see Link's interest in getting good grades the way I was when I was his age. I went to school because I had to. I did the work cause they told me to. I didn't care less what the work looked like, or what my grades were. I just did not care. Heaven help me if he's exactly like that. Heaven help his father, because his father was NEVER like that.

Things I Love and Don't about Summer

2010-05-31T23:04:00.002-06:00

Things I Love

Longer days
Heat during the day and cool refreshing breezes at night (not humid here in CO you guys...perfect)
Thunderstorms
Fresh air and open windows - the sound of crickets and my wind chimes when I'm falling asleep
The smells of flowers, plants and barbecues in the air
Digging in the dirt, planting flowers, and watching them grow
Hanging out with neighbors outside
Kids outside most of the day and constantly busy playing
Popsicles and ice cream
Plenty of Vitamin D
Staying up later, sleeping later
Not having to worry about the kids' school
Summer trips
Birds - like the Tree Swallows nesting in my bird house, the Goldfinches that come and go and the Pinyon Jay I saw this morning
Fun insects - like lady bugs, cool non-threatening spiders, butterflies, dragonflies...

Things I Don't

Too hot to play outside or to leave the windows open. And - the air conditioner cranking way up in the evening when I don't want to be cooled off anymore. Dumb.
Buying, thinking about and applying sunscreen.
Bees. Especially the huge swarm that's moved into a crevice in my deck right outside my back door.
Lack of schedule or structure because there's no school
Packing for and cleaning up after summer trips
Not so fun insects - like bees, yucky spiders, earwigs and slugs
Kids super dirty every single night when it's time for bed
Going to the pool
Honey doesn't get a summer break from work
Doggy allergies - I mean, the allergic reactions my dogs suffer from various unknowns outside - fine one minute, covered in big itchy bumps the next. OR, my poor little dog that's limping right now because her foot got stung by one of those stinkin' bees

A Persuasive Letter

2010-05-12T15:49:00.002-06:00

"Dear Mom and Dad

I would love a better life because I deserve it. If you give me a better life I will do what you say. We need to take care of some friends. We need to get rid of those friends. If we do that I will get a lot of thinking space. Keep an eye on George. Pleas look for George brining his DSI to bead. If we do that I will be ready and energized in the morning. Allowance should be higher. Could it be at least $10 for chores and babysitting? If we do that you wont have to spend a lot of money on toys for me. Cell phone calling Link's name. Could I pleas have an AT&T back flip? If I get one you can hear more problems more faster. I need some alone time. I would love one hour to my self. If we do that you will not have to deal with a lot of fights. I need a new room to sleep in. Could I sleep in the guest room? I have better sleep in the guest room than my room. Anyone who has a better life I want to join them to.

Sincerely,
Link"

Ooooooooookay............Want the Momdisclaimerexplanation? No really. You do want it. Trust me.
I guess this was an exercise they did for class. They were supposed to write a Persuasion Letter. Wow. He just laid it all out there didn't he?

I guess the first thing he needs is a better life - and then he'll do what I say?? If I had only known it was that easy.
I do NOT understand the friend thing. I asked him about it and his response made no sense. Just disregard.
The most helpful tip in the entire letter was that George is sneaking his DSI to bed. This is news to me. I'm gonna put the cabosh on that immediately.
Allowance should be higher? Very interesting. Especially since as parents, we are pitiful enough to not even have an established allowance. He should have said that allowance should exist. And why he's telling me that I won't have to spend a lot of money on toys is interesting too. I already don't. So, what's the need for changing now?
I read the "Cell phone calling Link's name." to him and asked him what that meant. He said that somewhere there is a back flip phone in an AT&T store calling his name. Ahhhh. Ok. He also claims it would be way easier for him to just text me on a Saturday morning than to walk up the stairs to knock on my bedroom door. How can you argue with that air-tight logic?
"I need some alone time." Hello?? I need some alone time. And what are these fights he speaks of? There's some normal sibling bickering that goes on, but there certainly aren't a lot of fights.
A new room, eh? A new room??? This is what I told him. We started in the room with George and he said he couldn't sleep so we moved him to the guest room and before long he couldn't sleep in there either. So we moved him back to the room with George, but before long, he couldn't sleep again, so we moved him back into the guest room and ... you guesssed it ... before long he couldn't sleep in there again. SO we moved him back to the room with George and now he's asking AGAIN to be moved? Sorry bubba. We just redecorated, painted, new bed, new bedding,. All new. No boys. NO boys will be sleeping in there and boogering up a new room. Tooooooo bad.

Tell me, y'all. What are your thoughts?

Mother's Day 2010

2010-05-10T09:22:00.002-06:00

Yesterday morning around 3 am, Sassy crawled into bed with me. At first I just moved over, too tired to care very much.
(But my bed and my sleeping time are very, very precious and I do not allow my children to just mozy in and out of my bedroom in the middle of the night. If Sassy shows up after 5:30 or so, I let her stay because she will go back to sleep. If I try to put her back to bed that early in the morning, she won't go back to sleep and be a tired disaster the rest of the day. But yesterday she showed up at 3:00 and that just will not do.)
I laid there wishing Honey would remove her from the bed for me, but he was breathing slow and steady and had no idea she was even there. Then I remembered it was Mother's Day and felt a little pang of dread. "Here we go." I thought. The one day I wish I could just not have to worry about it. So I crawled out of bed and carried Sassy back to her room. I managed to get back to sleep and before I knew it, Honey was kissing me good morning. He wished me a Happy Mother's Day and told me to stay in bed. No problem! A little bit later, he came into the room with homemade waffles, orange juice, bacon and sausage. I ate my breakfast in bed alone, and started watching Notting Hill on the iPad. It was lovely.

Finally, Honey told me that the kids were dying for me to come downstairs. The kids all had their homemade cards waiting. Sassy's was the handprints with the cute little poem that always makes me cry.

"Sometimes you get discouraged
Because I am so small
And always leave my fingerprints
On furniture and walls.
But everyday I'm growing up
And soon I'll be so tall
That all those little handprints
Will be so hard to recall.
So here's a special handprint
Just so that you can say
This is how my fingers looked
When I placed them here today."

::Collective 'Awwwwwwwww.'::
I gave Sassy a hug and told her that the first time I saw her, she looked at me and stuck her little bottom lip out and started to cry - and I could immediately see her sweet little dimples.

George gave me a big card that says:

"HAPPY
MOTH-
er's daY!"
from: COlin
to: mom

My Mom is Special because:
S-weet
P-erfect Personality
E-nergetic
C-ool
I-n a sweet home
A- fine temper
L-inked to me
I do not NOT know why he said perfect personality or energetic. I can only guess that he saw someone else write those words and copied.
I half-laughed when I read 'A fine temper.' But 'Linked to me' made me melt a little. SO cute.
Inside there were paper flowers with things listed that he'll do for me.

I'll go to your favorite resturaunt with the family
I'll do the dishes
I'll make the house peace and quiet (except he wrote the peace sign instead of the word)
I'll seprate the dishes.
I hugged George and told him that when he was a baby I couldn't stop kissing his little lips because they were so pudgy and soft.

Link drew me a picture of some flowers and wrote me a poem.

Mom is awsome for my life.
Mom makes my day marvoles.
Mom made my life posebile.
Mom makes me better at reading.
Mom makes me shine on Mothers Day.
Happy mothers DAY!
My favorite was that when I hugged Link, he really hugged me back tight and didn't try to get away. I told him when he was teeny, he had a patch of dark brown hair on top of his head that stuck straight up and that I LOVED it!

Honey gave me two dozen roses and a pretty card. We got ourselves ready for church and I went running in like a crazy person because I was sub-ing on the organ and got there a little later than I should have. Only had to play 2 1/2 hymns for prelude though. The primary kids sang two little Mother's Day songs, which is always adorable. Especially because my kids were all trying to make eye contact with me and grinning. In Relief Society we got cheesecake. Yum! After church, I had a big diet coke with lime and some popcorn. I laid down to read, but fell asleep and woke up to Brian grilling filets and a plate of fresh watermelon.

Honey told me he felt bad that he didn't get me more for Mother's Day this year, but the man just took me on a fab vacation and got me some very nice things on our trip - so I wasn't disappointed or even concerned about that. My kids were sweet. This was the first year I remember them really 'feeling' Mother's Day, instead of just going through motions because someone told them they should. I think that made all the difference in the world for Mother's Day this year. Mother's Day doesn't have to be perfect. Just the fact that everyone made the effort was so great. I love my kids and I love my husband for making me a mom. He says I had something to do with that too. I agreed. (duh)

Had a 'Moment' with Sassy (She's 4)

2010-04-05T20:22:00.004-06:00

The Setting: Sassy's just gotten out of the tub, I'm drying her off and combing out her hair.

The Conversation:

Sassy: "You know what I want to be for our family?"
Me: "What?"
Sassy: "A sister!"
Me: "You are a sister already."
Sassy: "No! A BIG sister. Like Sophie has? Like Sophie has a big sister."
Me: (grinning and shaking my head. [in the other room, Honey says "Uh oh!"]) "Did you hear that?"
Honey: "Yes" (voice is low and apprehensive)
Sassy: "So I'm gonna grow that. Okay?"
Me: "And how are you going to do that?"
Sassy: "I'm going to sleep everyday. I'm gonna eat food everyday and sleep and that will make her appear."
Me: (grabbing a pencil) "Wait...how are you going to do that?"
Sassy: "I'm going to sleep everyday and eat food everyday and let my tummy get big and that will grow a sister." pause "Cause I want one." pause "In the future."
Me: (laughing a little and writing furiously so I can recap on my blog for you.) "So. Let me tell you something about that."
Sassy: "What?"
Me: "You can't grow a baby in your tummy until your big like mommy and you have a husband."
Sassy: "When I'm big like you? But you'll have to live in a different family."
Me: "Yes. I'll live in a different house. But you can't have a baby in your tummy unless you have a husband who can be the daddy."
Sassy: (shrugs, hands down at her sides and turned outwards, head tilted sideways and with a little eye roll...)

"If I find a husband."

Isn't this the cutiest cute thing you've ever heard in your whole life??

Cottonelle Use #3

2010-03-12T09:54:00.003-07:00

When your Polly Pocket is grubby,

When your Snow White is tired,

And your Lemon Meringue is sleepy,

And because Strawberry Shortcake can't do anything without Lemon Meringue.

Ariel isn't used to being on legs for so long,

and Cinderella needs a nap.

And this poor Polly is stuck doing what everyone else has to do.

Cottonelle Wipes. Not just for bums. Not just for for the bathroom.

Weak in the Knees

2010-03-03T18:36:00.006-07:00

There are things that can take my breath away. Let's start with the non-edible, shall we? I got a catalog in the mail the other day and here are just a few of the things that left me breathless. First because of their beauty, second because of their cost. It has convinced me that I must learn to sew clothing. Oh, and so they receive their proper credit, the catalog is Chasing Fireflies.

I know. It's just sick. SICK, I tell you! Completely impractical. Entirely ridiculous to spend $168 on a pair of ruffled pink culottes. Worse, $288 on that white Meringue dress. Can't we just try them on and twirl in them for a few minutes, take a picture and then walk away? I would be fine with that. Truly, I would. Then, I'm going to learn how to sew and I'm going to make something romantic and twirly and fabulously impractical for my Sassy. Yes I am. And I'll post some photos when I'm done. Only time will tell whether those photos are for bragging purposes or in order to laugh at myself for a freshly sewn disaster.

Just a Moment, If You Please....

2010-02-10T07:07:00.002-07:00

I just want to take a moment to boast on my children's behalf. We had Parent Teacher Conferences last night.

Of all of the things that make me shake my head over George...it feels great to have something I can jump for joy over and that is why I am bragging to you about it.

Reading:

Students are expected to be reading independently at a level 24 (L) by mid-February. Your child is reading a level 34.
Students are expected to read approximately 85 words per minute. Your child is reading 143 WPM.

His teacher said when she tested him for the level 34 he blew it away. She's expecting at least a level 38 by the end of the year. And, in Math he is taking 3rd grade math facts time tests. Not enough to be considered a genius. But holy cow!

We have been on the other end of the spectrum. At this time last year, Link was struggling a lot in school. He had mostly minuses and a lot of comments regarding his behavior and attention in school. His report card was a lot of 2's (below grade level) and he hated school.

Cut to this year, with a brand new (and fantastic) teacher....his grades have gone WAY up! He had mostly plus-es and he is performing at grade level in nearly every category. He sat us down with a binder to explain to us how he is doing and what he has been working on. He had examples from the beginning of the year and examples from now to compare with. I was amazed at how clearly and confidently he described it all to us. He knew exactly where to go in his binder, could point out specific problems and areas where he'd either made mistakes or made drastic improvements. He seemed like such a big kid to me.

I used to dread Parent Teacher Conferences when I was the kid. I would go with my parents reluctantly and tune out the entire thing because I couldn't bear to hear them talk about how badly I was doing in school. I can easily remember walking into the school and into the classroom, but I have entirely blocked out all of those meetings. In fact, I don't even recall leaving the school to go home. Yikes. Heaven knows I would be sympathetic to my dear boys if they were struggling. Like last year. But heaven also knows how awesome it is to know they are doing just fine.

I'm already crossing my fingers, hoping that we get decent teachers next year. PLEASE!!!!!!

In other bragging news....I have lost 17.5 lbs and Honey and I are going on a cruise in April. After my 2009, this is more than overdue good news.

Are You Kidding Me???

2010-01-29T08:35:00.002-07:00

What the eyeball is going on here?

Do 'they' really think we are SO stupid? Whoever touched up this picture should have been fired ON THE SPOT.

When Things Disappear...Where Do They Go?

2010-01-27T14:45:00.003-07:00

We have a zipper case full of DVDs that went on our trip with us to WY for Thanksgiving. We also have a plastic zipper bag thingy full of about 8 Polly Pockets and all of their fashionable silicone outfits. Both missing. For weeks now.

We've searched high and low. They are nowhere to be found.

Do you think there is a heap of Lost Things somewhere in the universe? Probably right next to the Missing Socks Mound. Anyone know how to get there?

Randomness

2010-01-25T05:19:00.003-07:00

So, it's 5 in the morning and I can't sleep anymore. The little Sassy came and woke me up and 22 minutes after 4 cause she woke up and wanted to get in bed with me. Sorry. I don't really do that much. I kindly put her back in her own bed. I think she needs a warm happy nightlite in her room. Maybe it will help her.

Anyway - I've been missing my San Francisco/Smart Remarks friends (more on this later) and wishing I had some sort of trip in the works. One of my all time favorite trips was the time I flew up to Rochester, NY and drove into Palmyra with my parents. We visited the historical sites and stuff, and then one day braved a nasty rain storm to drive over to Buffalo and on to Niagara Falls. Seriously the most gorgeous landmark I've ever seen in my life!!! It was fall, mid September, and everything was still massively green and wonderful, but it was cool and totally uncrowded. The rain let up for us while we visited the falls and then we took a leisurely drive through local roads back. We stopped at fruit stands and ate at some little roadside restaurant. Fabulous. Brian and I need to get away and we can't seem to narrow it down. Not having much experience traveling, I think it's harder to know what to do. We've discussed Hawaii, a cruise of some kind (either western carribean or mediterranean), Mexico or even just my grandfathers little old cabin in WY, surrounded by snow, out of touch of the entire world. Until we get something down on paper though, I'm not feeling any sort of excitement. Plans have a way of being changed, cancelled, or swept under the rug until some point in the future.

Did I ever do a post about my little dog that had back surgery over the summer? I don't think I did. We have dachshunds. Naturally, with those extra long spines, they are prone to spinal injuries. Our first dog, Bailey, threw her back about 6 yrs ago. We had to pay for the ER in the middle of the night, xrays, a special scan they did with dye and stuff, steroids to keep the inflammation down to see if she'd get better (which she didn't) and then surgery. It was $$$expensive$$$. She was only 6 at the time. Then, this last year, our other little dachshund Sammy threw her back. Apparently she'd had a burst disk in her back that had been there for a LONG time. It was big and I don't know how the little dog survived in that kind of pain for so long. Amazing. Anyway, finally one day she just couldn't walk on her back legs at all and it was pitiful! We went back and forth on whether we were going to fork out the dough again, but our hearts beat out the other and we did it. She's like new. Running around and happy and all. Barking her little tail off as usual. Yesterday however..........

Bailey came down our 16 stairs to go out in the morning. Then, down the 13 stairs from our back door to the yard to potty in the grass. Back up the 13 stairs to come back in - at which time my husband discovered her hobbling on three legs only. We've already done surgery on this girl. She was almost double what the first dog cost. And - she's 12. What do you do? We're still paying off the last canine surgery. So we're keeping her confined and rested. Carrying her up and down the stairs. Giving her pain pills. Conservative like crazy is our plan. I'm going to call the vet today and talk to her about just picking up the steriods so we can do that for a week or two. This morning she did put a little pressure on that leg, which is a good sign. Anyway---fun times.

We also have a leaking dishwasher. But it's rapidly getting worse. At first we noticed because the hardwood in front of the thing was warped. We've been trying to keep it sopped up with an old towel until we can decide what to do, but last night, the leakage ran clear out onto the floor. Now - it's off limits until we can either get it repaired or replaced. Dishes. By. Hand. Aren't I spoiled? I'll pretend I'm at the cabin. It might be fun. Might.

Oh!!! On fab news, I was reminded this morning about a place we went in San Francisco when I saw Bakerella's new blog post. It's called Miette! Located in the Ferry Building. They also have a website and a blog. Us SF girls wandered through that place for a while and stopped at this little patisserie for treats. They had what we thought were macaroons. But apparently, as I learned this morning, they are called Macarons. (long 'o'). Bakerella even showed step by step directions on how to make the precious little sweets. I might be brave enough, you guys. It's quite an interesting process. Takes a few days. Since you have to age your egg whites for at least 24 hours and then after you pipe the cookies out, they have to sit for at least an hour before baking. If you can believe it, I'm more stressed out about where I could find powdered food coloring and what on earth would I make for filling??? They have to be TO DIE FOR when I'm finished. Not a disaster I wish I hadn't done.

Soooo, I guess I'd better get off this couch and take advantage of the extra time I have this morning. Today's a run-around day. Happy lunch with friends, sweet ballet class for Sassy. I have to order a cake for New Beginnings this week, etc. Off I go. OH! And I get to weigh myself this morning. Down 15 lbs you gize!! 15 boxes of butter. Three 5 lb bags of flour. Shaved off and thrown to the curb. Not to mention nearly 18 inches. I'm feeling great!

Oh, and since no one commented on the pull up post, I feel I'd better apologize for grossing you all out so much you couldn't even click on the comment button. That's okay. I'll get over it. ::wink::

Gag me with a Pull Up

2010-01-22T08:20:00.002-07:00

My 8 yr old wears pull ups. All day. All night.

There. I said it.

You can imagine it's a HUGE deal in our house to get those things thrown out in the garage garbage. There is no patience for pull ups left under the bed, laying around in the bedroom, or elsewhere.

My kids are occasionally enlisted to Sorting-the-laundry duty. My 10 yr old can start a load, run it, switch it to the dryer, etc. It's glorious.

Until today.

While switching the laundry, he called me to come and look at something in the washer. I didn't want to look. But I did. There, lining the door of the inside of my lovely semi-new washing machine was those blasted little teensy pellets of silicone that fill the inside of all disposable diapers and pull ups. You know the stuff. Don't tell me you've never experienced the busted open diaper that was too full.

I calmly informed the boys that they were going to clean it out. "George, this is your fault for not throwing away your pull up in the first place and leaving it tangled up in your jeans." "Link, this is also your fault for not paying attention when you put the clothes in the washer."

(Do my children not have a sense of smell???)

They are currently wiping out the inside of the washer and I hear things like, "This stuff is a polymer!"

It is G. ross. D. sgusting. Nassssty.

I should be embarrassed. I am. But this is blog world. So I can type it, post it, and hide from it all at the same time. Plus, I'm still refusing to enter the laundry room. I don't want to see it or be near it or watch my kids clean it up. I will lose it and freak out. This is my way of keeping myself sane enough to function until it's over.

The end.

Choosing A Weapon

2010-01-20T10:28:00.000-07:00

A whistle? A pea shooter? Or a squirt gun?

We have a daily chart. This is designed to give the kids reference to what they are supposed to do every morning without my having to tell them 500 million times a week that they're supposed to be getting dressed and ready for school. The morning items are:

Get Dressed Including Shoes and Socks (because they'll entirely forget about the shoes and socks. Especially the socks.)
Eat Breakfast, Brush Teeth (I have to set a timer for breakfast or they'll sit there for 30 minutes and do nothing.)
Clean Room Up (I don't understand how they do this every day, and every day it's still a disaster)
Flush Toilet, Dirty Clothes (What do they have against flushing a toilet? Ewww!)
Lunch and Backpack (this one puts a big wrench in the morning...more on that in a minute)

The idea is that they get ONE (1) warning per item. After that, they lose their star. After that, they start accruing things like time outs, more chores to do later, etc. Stars earn chips, which earn quarters.

When they wake up in the morning - they NEVER take the initiative and start on their stuff. They lay around and do nothing until I say move. There is a strict No TV rule in the morning. So, it isn't like they get lost in cartoons or something. They simply lay around on the couch or the floor. George never puts his shoes on. I always have to remind him. I make them get dressed before they eat, because if they eat and then go upstairs, they're lost and I don't see them again. I think...that has solved the problem with the room cleaning too. All of that upstairs stuff has to be done before they get fed. Perfect.

That leads me to lunch. We are buying drinks, chips, sandwich stuff, string cheese, gogurts, granola bars, etc. All they have to do is grab, grab, grab - stick it in their lunch boxes, zip them up and toss them in their back packs. You'd think that was easy. Unfortunately, because they spend so much time screwing around - they always find themselves with no time left. Lunch at school is $2.50 per day. Am I crazy to think that's a lot? There are usually 2 or 3 choices, one always being yogurt and string cheese. George ALWAYS picks that one. $2.50 for a yogurt and string cheese? Rip. Off.

I think this is what's going to happen. First - I'm going to get them up at 6 am tomorrow. Maybe I'll go get one of those horns-in-a-can. That'll wake them up. Then I'm going to announce that they will not receive any breakfast until they have accomplished every other morning task on their charts. I think that sounds like fun. OR...if they screw around with their lunch, I'll make it for them. A piece of plain bread, a couple of carrots and some water. No snack. No fabulous peanut butter or tasty gogurts. OR....making the lunch gets shifted to the night before. We could just entirely eliminate it from the morning list altogether. I think I can figure out how to incorporate all three. I still want to get a whistle so I can use that to represent the One Warning. I'd love a pea shooter, so I could ping someone in the back of the neck when they're doddling their way up the stairs or rolling around on the floor instead of being productive. The squirt gun would be a great way to get people's attention. Don't you think??

Time for a family meeting, I suppose.

P.S. (sorry for originally posting this in the wrong place....dumb!!)

Oh So Worth the Effort!!

2010-01-08T15:05:00.002-07:00

This is George. George is turning 8 on Sunday so that meant snack at school today. Normally, I save the supercutehardtomaketimeconsuming stuff for smaller events and more appreciative recipients. But, my kids have endured a plain old krispykreme donut for a couple of years. Plus, I REALLY like the kids teachers. Plus, they aren't getting a party or anything else. One gift. Treats at school. Done. Don't you love my rationalization for spending several hours making cupcake hamburgers and sugar cookie french fries for 23 7-8 year olds?

The payoff? The teachers and ladies in the office FREAKED!! George's teacher ran for her camera, and gathered some teachers from nearby classrooms to come in and take a gander. Some lady in the hallway saw me walking by and threw a fit over how cute they were. These are things I can deal with.

George insisted on giving one to the principal, who looked at it like it was garbage on a plate and hardly said a word. I guess it's good that he wants to be nice to the principal - even if he wasn't interested in being nice back. He did give George a pencil though. I'll never forget being called to the principal's office when I was in 2nd grade. I was TERRIFIED!! I could hardly breathe. I spent the entire walk (as slowly as I could) digging through my mind to figure out what I'd done wrong, only to finally find out that he just wanted to give me a pencil for my birthday. PHEW!

I will be posting more detailed information about this adventure at Savory Sisters later next week. I'm making these again for Link's birthday on Thursday - and I'll take some fabulous detailed photos. I might even enlist someone to take the photos for me. (whooo could I ask to do that???)

In the meantime, I'm patting myself on the back and trying to ignore the hugemassivemess I made in the kitchen.

Oh - and you'll might be interested to know that I didn't eat one. Not a scrap of cupcake, frosting, sugarcookie fry. Nothing. I'm sad. They look scrumptious. But - I said no.

One more little tidbit of very important information; I give all the credit to Bakerella. She showed me how to do this on her site. Thanks!!!

P.S. See how George's top teeth in the front don't connect with the bottom? Thanks be to The Plug. Some orthodontist will milk us for all we've got on that one.

Please Share!

2010-01-03T20:39:00.003-07:00

So, those of you who know me also know that I fully and openly admit to being terrible at organization and cleanliness. I'm blessed with a husband who will do the dishes, run some laundry, fix food and only loses patience with me a couple of times a year.

I also like to talk about my OCD mother - donned in her yellow rubber gloves 24/7 - always freaking out about something and never able to sit down or relax. Ever. She's still like that. It's just shifted focus a little to other things. I must have been a really painful, annoying, thorn in her backside. I'm sure I drove her entirely insane. Across the hall from my bedroom was my always-clean and organized sister. Always clean. Always neat and tidy and cute.

Sigh.

I don't know. Maybe it's my ADD. Maybe it's my subconscious refusal to be OCD. Maybe I'm just lazy. I think it's all of those. There are annoying flaws in the way my brain functions. Or doesn't. My brain changes channels constantly. It's hard for me to focus on conversations and stay connected mentally the whole time. I sometimes realize that I've drifted off in the middle of something and probably seemed really rude to whoever I was talking to. The more I have on my list, the more confused and anxious I become. And then I can suddenly hyper-focus on something and entirely ignore everything else. That's annoying too.

This was only really detrimental when I was young where my grades were concerned. I struggled studying, taking notes, remember things. I didn't test well. I couldn't pay attention in class well. If I were in school the way things are today - here in a city - I would probably be on an IEP, and I'd have one-on-one focused help oustide of class. Well, if it were now and I were my mom. I mean that in the best possible way, you know. Really and truly.

It didn't hurt me too much after high school either. I didn't go to college. I am terrified of college. Literally terrified. It made jobs a little hard, but mostly when I was a secretary. Waiting tables, the grocery store - easy. When I did book-keeping at the bank, it was great cause every day, there was a deliberate and detailed list of things I had to do. In order. The same every day. Easy.

When I started having babies, wasn't so much a big deal. I kind of let the baby set the tone for what kind of schedule we were going to be on. But here's the deal...now these babies aren't babies anymore and this place is an unorganized mess.

I'm getting better about trying to keep a schedule. The kids have a chart they are supposed to be following - in order. The things they are expected to do every day. We need to switch it up a little from time to time to keep it interesting, but at least I can direct them to their list and it takes some of the pressure off of me.

Why am I typing all of this and making you read it? I'm curious. I would LOVEloveLOVE to know if you're on a daily schedule. Or a weekly schedule. Do you clean your bathrooms on the same day of the week every week? Do you grocery shop on the same day? Do you have your day broken down into increments of tasks that go in the same order? School, homework, activites, dinner, bath, bed? Really.....I would love to find out what some of my friends are doing. Then, I'd like to lay it all out in front of me and adapt and modify your example into something I can live with.

I know it's pitiful for me to imply that I'm ignorant of how to do these very basic, simple, seemingly common sense things. You know - the woman's natural nesting / home making / and nurturing thing? Yeah. I don't really have that.

Soooo....share share share, please? Bring it on. It's a new year and I need some NEW around here.

Love you all my dear friends!!

Dear Retailers and Food Store Guys

2009-12-22T10:12:00.002-07:00

I hate that the minute the 4th of July is done, the seasonal aisle is loaded with Halloween Candy. Halloween comes and is promptly replaced with Christmas stuff. We have to look at it and walk by it and think about it for two LONG months. Then when the middle of December hits and us moms are finally in the mood for Christmas, everything is just about gone. In fact, my favorite craft store already has it all on clearance, and has replaced all of those aisles with garden ornaments and wind chimes. WAIT!!! I haven't even made my Christmas FOOD yet and you're stocking the spring stuff??? SHEEEESH!!!

Food store people. I'm wondering if you all had a meeting that went something like this...

"I know! Since the people are making twice as much food, recipes that stress them out, they have family in town, presents to buy and wrap, limited time...all of that. Let's take all of the things they would need and scatter them all over the store in different places! Would that be fun? Then they have to search and search for things like vanilla, and canned pumpkin."

I curse you. Curse. You.

One-of-a-Kind Stockings

2009-12-20T16:48:00.003-07:00

For several years, I’ve been discontented with the stockings we’ve been using for Christmas. They’re mismatched. Some hang one direction, one hung the opposite. It bugged me like crazy. Every year I look through the stockings at the store and then do nothing cause I can’t ever find anything I can’t live without. And then a few months ago, as I was walking through Hobby Lobby, I passed some Christmas fabric that I loved. So the wheels started turning and before I knew it, I had purchased enough fabric and lining for 5 stockings, trim, buttons, bells, thread.
Then, as I was walking to my car, my brain was thinking,
"Oh boy…why? Oh why did I do this?"

Here’s why:

Left to right:
George, Sassy, Honey, Link, Me

I didn't make the stockings for the dogs. But yes. They get something from Santa too.
There are some sad little dogs out there that never get anything for Christmas. Nothing. Ever.

The Christmas Elves

2009-12-18T22:22:00.004-07:00

A few years ago, we got some little Christmas Elves from my SIL for the kids. Two little boy elves (since then we've adopted a little girlie elf too). They came with a little container of magic ‘snow.' These days, it looks a lot like glitter. The elves are supposed to magically arrive at your house at some point during the month of December. The snow is sprinkled around them and then they hang out at your house until Christmas Eve. They are also supposed to ‘do’ things. Like the kids might wake up in the morning and discover that they elves got out all of the flour and stuff to make cookies. Or they might have made a mess of the toys, etc. And etc. They are supposed to be keeping an eye on the kids and then they give a report to Santa when he comes on Christmas Eve and he takes them back home to the North Pole.

Our naughty little elves are something my kids talk about for weeksWEEKS before Christmas. It is a double-edged sword. The kids LOVE it, but it’s a little annoying. I really do have to be in a certain kind of mood.

Last year, when Christmas Eve arrived, one of the elves was missing. We couldn’t find him anywhere and the other two went back to the North Pole without him. Of course, a couple of weeks later, he surfaced. He’s been hanging around our house ever since. When the topic came up a few weeks ago, the kids started speculating about when the elves would come, what would happen, and stuff. The other day, tucked under the front door, was this letter:

Somewhere in your house there hides our little Elfin friend
We’ve missed him this entire year – but soon we’ll see the end
To being far away from him and wishing we were whole
For then on Christmas Eve we’ll fly him to the great North Pole
Please tell our little Elfin friend that we are on our way
We’re planning and preparing and we’ll be there any day
On Christmas Eve, while you’re asleep, we’ll here the reindeer paws
And down the chimney we will meet old jolly Santa Clause
He’s going to ask us how you’ve been throughout the time we’re here
And we’ll have taken notes of all your actions while we’re near
“Are they naughty – are they nice?” Jolly Santa Claus will say
And if you’re nice he’ll leave you gifts to open Christmas Day

Also included with the card was that little extra ^^note. It says:

Dear William, Colin and Sarah,
Please leave him under the tree so we can find him.
See you soon!!!
The Christmas Elves

Soooo, Link booked it upstairs, retrieved the elf (which he now refers to as Elfin) and promptly placed him under the tree. He’s been there for a few days. Waiting and waiting.

And waiting.

Oooh! Lookie here! What will the kids find when they wake up tomorrow?

What? Really?? A New Post? Yesssssssssss!

2009-12-17T06:22:00.003-07:00

My seven year old - George - has perfect pitch.

Yes I'm boasting. Well, cause it's really cool. You know, to be born - like you're brain wired naturally - to have perfect pitch. And, cause I grew him which means that somewhere in my dna, there's a tendency for that. Even tho I don't have it.

So, what is perfect pitch, you might ask? Well, hang on. Here's the story.

We were at a 'thing' where Colin found a tuning fork. He bangs it on the floor and holds it up to his ear and announces that it sounds just like a low 'c.' What? Then we realize that the tuning fork is a 'c' and I'm a little excited. At home that night, with his back to me, I started playing a few notes on the piano. One at a time, and asking him what they are. He pegged every single one, people. And no...he wasn't humming up a scale to figure it out. He just knows. Since then, we've also discovered that if you ask him to hum a certain note - he can pull it right out of his brain. "Hum a high 'e.'" He can do it.

Apparently only 1 in 10,000 people are born with natural perfect pitch. There are people who learn to do it, I guess. But, it's difficult. I sing and play the piano and a couple of other things. I couldn't hum a specific note or name any notes to save my life. I was only blessed with the ability to carry a tune in a bucket.

We waited to start Link on piano until he was about 7 or 8. Wanted to make sure he was reading and stuff first. George promptly began picking out all of Link's songs on the piano just from listening to him practice. He started reading really early too, so we got him started in lessons when he was 5. He learns fast. He adds things to his songs. He sits at the piano for long periods of time, picking things out, testing chords, studying the keys. It's fascinating. I'm NOT kidding you guys, he can't figure out how to do some very basic, human, normal things. But he can do this. He now works on the stuff his teacher gives him, teaches himself how to play songs that he likes - like music from The Legend of Zelda, or he decides that he wants to play Link's music. Link doesn't really like this, btw. But I remember my sister freaking out when I played her stuff and it was rude. ROOOOOD! So, I have just lightly and cheerfully encouraged Link to not care. So what if his little brother can play the same stuff, but never looked at any of the music?

Here's the wikipedia definition:

Absolute pitch (AP), or perfect pitch, is the ability to name or reproduce a tone without reference to an external standard.^[1]

The naming/labeling of notes need not be verbal. AP can also be demonstrated by other codes such as auditory imagery or sensorimotor responses, for example, reproducing a tone on an instrument. Therefore a musician from an aural tradition, with no musical notation, can still exhibit AP if allowed to reproduce a sounded note.^[2]^[3]

Possessors of absolute pitch exhibit the ability in varying degrees. Generally, absolute pitch implies some or all of the following abilities when done without reference to an external standard:^[4]

Identify by name individual pitches (e.g. A, B, C#) played on various instruments
Name the key of a given piece of tonal music just by listening (without reference to an external tone)
Identify and name all the tones of a given chord or other tonal mass
Sing a given pitch without an external reference
Name the pitches of common everyday noises such as car horns

I've tried playing a chord and asking George to tell me what the notes are, but he can't do that yet. And, I hadn't considered asking him about car horns and stuff. Apparently, he wanted to learn to play the Hungarian Dance. So, the piano teacher got a copy of it for him to learn from. But he promptly informed her that it wasn't in the same key as the one he hears on Donkey Konga. Hmmm. So - he's teaching himself to do that instead.

Things that come to mind are the character in Good Will Hunting - who was a math expert cause he could just see the numbers and figure it out. Or - the kid from August Rush - who could hear music in everything around him. I'm still boasting, btw.

Here are a few famous people with perfect pitch:

Julie Andrews
Bach
Beethoven
Mariah Carey
Chopin
Nat King Cole
Bing Crosby
Celine Dion
Ella Fitzgerald
George Frideric Handel
Jimi Hendrix
Michael Jackson
Mozart
Frank Sinatra
Barbra Streisand
Stevie Wonder

Mmmhmmmm. I'm smart enough to not assume that he's going to be famous or anything. But I know he's got something special going and I think it's fantastically, amazingly, and incredibly awesome.

Now if we can get the rest of his brain to catch up ...

Pigflu Mania

2009-11-05T20:30:00.004-07:00

I typed this whole thing about the stinking pigflu, and then my computer froze up and I had to force quit firefox. Now it's all gone.

I'm bugged.

So - I'm just going to attach the pictures and that's going to have to be good enough.

Ok Fine.

Since Martha automatically thinks that I posted this because we have the pigflu, I have to immediately edit my post to reassure you all that we most definitely DO NOT have the pigflu.

The reason I was writing this post in the first place was because of a trip to the dr.s office yesterday for a checkup. I'll try to give you a recap almost as good as the one I typed before.

We walked into the room and before we were even completely through the door, I could see a woman sitting in her chair with her arms wrapped around her mouth and nose as if she was trying to fend off a cloud of tear gas. She was sitting there, scowling around the room, giving everyone the stink eye. We got in the room and I got in line at the counter to check in. There was a man holding a little toddler who was crying because he wanted to get down. The man told him "I can't put you down because I don't want you to get everyone sick." Then, a woman in line in front of me said really loudly to the girl behind the desk; "My daughter and I both have H1N1 and we were already here this morning...." That's when I started realizing that everyone in the room was FREAKING out over this pigflu crap. There were people with masks on. People holding their kids tightly on their laps, afraid to let them touch anything. The stink eye lady walked across to a man (I guess they were there together) and she told him to make sure he wasn't sitting close to anyone so he wouldn't get sick. A little boy toddled near me and bumped my foot. His mother came rushing over, snatched him up, and whisked him across the room so fast you could almost see the windy empty spot where he'd once been. Did I look sick? My kids weren't coughing. I wasn't coughing. I think I was the only person in the room that wasn't bathing myself in han-tizer (Sassy's word). Maybe that made everyone think that I'm the insensitive spreader of the disease.

Look - my honey had it already. And I was fully prepared for my turn. I filled the kitchen with theraflu, cough drops, mucinex, cough syrup, children's motrin, herbal tea, kleenex and easy-to-fix meals. I battened down the hatches and waiting patiently for it to get me and the kids. Honey was home from work for 4 full days. He had the fever, chills, sweats, coughing, shivering. It was nasty business. I'm not minimizing that the pigflu will make you sick and be a miserable experience. But I slept next to the man the entire time he was sick and I didn't get it. My kids never got it either. Perhaps it's given me a false sense of immunity. We certainly aren't getting the shot. Why should we? We faced it and survived.

I'm just fully annoyed at how people are behaving. It isn't the plague, fhs. Or small pox, or malaria, or anthrax.

For the few readers I have, please don't send me hate mail or lecture me on the dangerous complications that come from the pigflu. I know people have died. I have sympathy for them and their families. People die from stuff every day. But the 'man' has everyone rushing around like crazy people. It's annoying. Yes. I said it's annoying. And I mean it.

I don't want to be grouchy

2009-10-21T09:30:00.002-06:00

Every night I take a deep breath and decide that tomorrow I'm going to be fun. I'm going to be more patient and more interested in what my kids want to talk about.

Last night I didn't get any sleep cause I was coughing all night. Ugh.

I finally got some restful and relaxing sleep starting around 6 am. Honey had to leave for work, so he woke me up to say goodbye. I can't really complain about that tho, cause if he'd left without saying goodbye, it might have hurt my feelings a little. The phone rings. It's WellsFargo. I don't answer. Then, because the door was left unlocked, the 3 year old comes and gets into bed with me and starts asking me questions, and trying to find the best place to lay down. I should relish these moments right? Except I just wanted a little more sleep.

Next, I could hear the 7 year old and the 9 year old running around, yelling, arguing, thumping, pounding, building sky scrapers...I don't know WHAT they were doing, but it was anything but conducive to another hour of sleep. So - I have to get up. Puppy needs to pee and if I don't carry her from the bed to the door, she'll stop somewhere in between and pee in my house. The phone is ringing again and it's WellsFargo. Again. I still don't answer. Surgical patient doggy needs to be let out of her crate and carefully carried downstairs to the door, out into the fresh snow, down the steps and allowed to potty without any running or extra activity. So before I even have a chance to go potty myself or even really open my eyes, I'm standing out in the snow, getting wet and cold.

I'm still trying to be patient. Okay?

Back in the house. Surgical doggy goes in her confined place (to protect her from herself) and she starts barking. The kids are all telling me at the same time what they all want for breakfast and they all want something different. Sugar toast. Jimmy Dean frozen breakfast sandwich. Eggo waffles. (So much nutrition, right?) The 9 year old gets his own sandwich from the freezer, but I know he's left an empty box behind and I have to tell him 3 different ways to get him to go back into the garage to the freezer to throw it out. The 7 year old is flying around the family room and kitchen like he's on speed. The 3 year old is picking on the dog. The phone rings for the 3rd time. It's WellsFargo again. This time - I answer. And boy, do I answer.

Because they're WellsFargo, they won't tell me anything. They have to talk to Honey. Cause he's like, the man. You know? Wives don't count as equal partners. They've been calling our house for several days. I ask if there's a serious problem. She says it's an 'important banking matter.' I tell her I'll be happy to have him call if it's a big deal, but if they're calling to sell something they better stop calling my house. She says they aren't selling anything. I say ok and hang up. I hatehatehate WellsFargo. Long story.

So where do you think all that self-talk about patience has gone now? Are you kidding me? They kids are all now sitting at the island in the kitchen eating their three different breakfasts and they start in about playing in the snow, wanting peanut butter, having friends over, blah blaaaah BLAHHHH!

I'm breathing you guyz. I'm taking it slow. I calmly told them they could have friends over tomorrow IF they help clean the house today. I managed to finally use the potty and get my orange juice. I'm sitting here typing this out so I can breath for a few minutes. Now I'm going to the store by myself to get some stuff for the chicken for dinner tonight. Don't worry. I'll come back home. This time.

(JUST KIDDING!!! GEEEZZZ!)

I do not appreciate fall break.

Underneath it all

2009-10-09T14:38:00.005-06:00

That's right. A lovely princess bathing suit. The fashion sense of a 3 year old is astounding.

Uh oh! What's that?

2009-10-09T14:38:00.001-06:00

And finally

2009-10-09T14:35:00.002-06:00

One can't help but notice the remnants of chocolate frosting around Sassy's little face, and her fancy mom-didn't-do-my-hair do.

Don't leave home without it.

2009-10-09T14:30:00.003-06:00

She is also carrying her all-important egg shaped magna doodle that she got from the Easter Bunny several months ago. Note the lovely bracelet she asked me to put on her this morning. (ummmm, yeeeah. I made that.)

And then...

2009-10-09T14:27:00.001-06:00

Above those fuchsia pants, purple socks and backwards shoes, we find a blue DownEast shirt, layered with her white cardigan. She's accessorized her outfit with her silver and purple barbie purse and the chunky pink barbie necklace that once held little barbie candies.

From the bottom

2009-10-09T14:26:00.002-06:00

Sorry that it's a little blurry.

From the bottom we see her new church shoes. Inside out of course, with purple socks and her fuchsia stretch pants.

Do I Look Handsome? Or Great?

2009-10-09T14:23:00.002-06:00

From down the hallway I hear that coming from my 3 yo Sassy, directed at her brother. "Link! Come see my outfit! Do I look handsome? Or Great?"

More detailed photos on their way.

Finally!!!!

2009-10-08T18:35:00.001-06:00

'Super Fun' School Halloween Parties

2009-10-06T14:40:00.002-06:00

Oh wait....Fall Festival party. Right?

Just got a call from the party planner for George's 2nd grade class. She obviously doesn't know how much I love to bake and create fancy treats - cause she said she's got the food all covered and I'm bringing paper plates and napkins. Hmmmph. Ok, so what is the food you ask?

Are you ready for this awesomeness?

Mini bagels....and cream cheese!!!

Soooo, it's a Halloween party. There's costumes. And they get mini bagels and cream cheese? ::said very slowly for effect:: So boring. The first problem is that the school insists on having the party at 8:30 in the morning. For several reasons. Costumes all day would be disruptive. It would also expose those children (whose parents think Halloween is evil) to the halloween stuff. And by having it first thing in the morning, those parents can keep their children home until 9:30, thereby saving them from the evilness of the Halloween party.

I probably sound like such a brat, but I just hate this stuff. The few are SO loud about their annoyances that the many have to bend and accomodate. Stay tuned when the Christmas, I mean Holiday stuff pops up.

Would it be totally rude if I showed up with fancy cupcakes anyway? The kids wouldn't even want a stupid mini bagel with cream cheese. Maybe I'll show up with them at 3:20 - 10 minutes before the end of the day and have them individually wrapped so the kids can take them home. That wouldn't be rude, would it?

Where's the Snow???

2009-09-23T07:05:00.001-06:00

Are you gonna do like you did ALL last winter? Forecast inches and
inches of snow and leave us wondering where it is? What snow? 6-12? 4-9?

You're playing with the happiness of little snow princesses like
this . . .

I quote her, "Mama, where's the snow?"

And since when does the 'weather girl' get to have a big coffee-like drink topped with whipped cream right there on her desk on the air? Some of us are trying to break up with things like whipped cream.

Rude.

Dear Weather Man

2009-09-23T06:59:00.000-06:00

Remember the Speeding Ticket?

2009-09-03T15:03:00.002-06:00

:::::swig of soda:::::sitting down, arranging papers so I get the facts right:::::leaning back with my macbook in my lap:::::sighing with relief because Sassy is asleep on the couch next to me and the boys won't be home from school for 35 more minutes:::::

Begin.

This is killing me, btw, cause I'm SO sucked into the book and I want to keep reading and reading and reading. But because I'm so devoted to my blog fans, all 6 of you, I'm (there's a puppy licking my ear.....) stopping my reading to share this awesome story with you.

So, got the speeding ticket back in June. As a recap, I passed through the expresstoll and found myself surrounded by cones, slowed down to see what was going on in time to see the two cops sitting on the side of the road with their blasted mph guns and then got pulled over. He said there were signs telling me that it was 55 in a construction zone and I was going 70. I didn't see any signs. The regular speed limit is 70. But who in their right mind argues with a cop while he's standing there with a pen in his hand? He tried to make me feel better by saying that he wasn't going to charge me double for the construction zone violation and wrote the 4 point ticket for only $162.00. Then he gave me the stuff about sending it in by a certain date, or showing up for court to contest it by another date.

I chose to contest it.

We showed up today. Ready to pay less of it and call it done. Instead, we get in line and the lady passes us a new sheet of paper. She proceeds to tell us that because it was within a 'construction zone' we can't offer a plea. And because we didn't pay it already, we now owe 188.50. Our other option is to set a further date and show up in court with the cop who wrote the ticket.

Pay more?

Ummmmm, mister cop man might have been kind enough to say that I wouldn't be able to plea. Huh.

Hmmmph. ( I keep making this noise to myself )

So I guess we're adjurned until December 9 at 2 pm. No way I was going to roll over and write them a check for $188 today.

No.

Way.

Hmmph.

Love you gize. Even after the cake contest. See how loyal I am?

My Dear John Letter

2009-08-30T15:34:00.003-06:00

Dear Food,

I hope you can forgive me for doing this in a letter. It's hard for me to say the things that I need to, and I know that I might falter if I try to have this one-sided discussion with you face to face. We've been together for so long. You mean so much to me. I know that I wouldn't ever be able to survive without you. But, I think you've been dishonest with me. You made me think that the more time we spent together, the happier I would be. For a while, it was true. So many happy moments, joyful times and sweet, sweet morsels. Great memories. I love to introduce you to my friends. And you're always so willing to let me dress you up or change you around. I can get you all fixed up and take you places. People LOVE you! And then they love me for sharing you.

But over the last few weeks, especially, I've been feeling like you're taking over. You're so busy looking good and being great, that I've completely stopped taking care of myself. I've allowed you to take control. Now, I'm tired all the time. I'm sluggish. My self-esteem has been damaged. I've had to change my clothes, even. And you completely took my good friend Gym away from me. I haven't seen Gym in so long. We used to get together 5 or 6 times a week!

This week I was particularly not feeling well and I tried to spend time with you - expecting that you would make me feel better. But instead, I realized that it only made me feel worse. You aren't as sweet and lovely as you used to be.

I hope that we can still be friends. Obviously, we can't end our relationship entirely. Civility may be our only route from here. I hope you can forgive me and I know you won't miss me as much as I'll miss you, but I know you can find someone else. You really can be so irresistible.

Best of luck,

Me.

Regarding Nellie

2009-08-29T10:32:00.005-06:00

Some of you LOVE this topic.

Anyway - put Nellie up for adoption, just to see what would happen. The first interest was a really nice lady. Except she's in WA and I'd have to double the cost of the dog just to cover the cost of shipping her. One thing the lady pointed out was that I might want to wait until Nellie is spayed before I sell her, otherwise someone might buy her just for breeding. Oh great. Thanks for that perspective. That sounds just horrible, doesn't it? So this is the email I just got, from prospective buyer #2.

"Hello how are u doing. i like to know is if the puppy is still available for sale because i am interested, and i will like to know what the final price is. i like to read from u asap.

Donald.."

I'm pausing, so you can take it all in. Yes, it's word for word. Exact quote. Cut and paste.

I emailed back asking him to tell me more about himself. I haven't heard back from him. Perhaps he's in the middle of his songing practice. I hope he isn't just looking for mudders. Eees no goot.

In all seriousness, there's so little to his email. No personality. No emotion. I will not sell my princess-like Nellie to someone who might turn her into a goose-dog.

Dig In Project #2

2009-08-11T11:42:00.002-06:00

Or maybe I should say, dig out? You see, we just painted and did some decorating in our bedroom. It's lovely and peaceful and relaxing. Except that underneath it all, lurks the monster of disorganization. My drawers are filled with clothing that no longer fits. Three drawers house the nicks and nacks that collect on the dresser and are then hastily swept in to create the illusion of neat and tidy. Three THREE drawers full of nicks and nacks that have no home - some of which I haven't seen in years. Around the corner and through the bathroom you'll find our closet. Also a pitiful display. Just pit-eee-ful! I suppose I could have taken a picture and posted it yesterday as yet another example of how loving and supportive my Honey is. I know this stuff drives him up the wall.

And so, my dear friends, whilst walking through the beloved Costco near my home, I spotted this lovely little shelf, organizer thingy. My mind began to spin about the closet and so I brought it home. This was 3 or 4 weeks ago I think. I've since been trying to remember what it was exactly that possessed me to tackle such a project.

You will not receive any before photos. I'm sorry. My kitchen was acceptably bad and I was not ashamed to show you what was happening behind closed cabinet doors. My bedroom and my closet are shammmmmmmmeful. Let's just say, I couldn't get to the back of the closet for the mounds of stuff on the floor. I will, however, post something in the intermediate stages and then the finished product.

The first couple of hours were spent emptying and dismantling the mess. Now? I must face it and sort it. 'Search and Destroy' may have to be my motto. Bags of clothing and shoes may be waking up in the thrifty store.

I suppose my lunch break is about over. Otherwise I might find a comfy spot on the davenport and not move until the boys return home from school.

Wait!

Did you really use the word Davenport? What the...? That's what my grandparents called their couch. In the dictionary a davenport is 'a large sofa, often convertible into a bed.' I suppose it goes along with 'pocketbook' (a purse or handbag) and 'parambulator' (a wheeled device in which one places a baby and pushes while walking).

Remember the Spongebob episode when he's supposed to write a 500 word essay about what not to do at a stop light? He spends all night feeding Gary, cleaning his kitchen, calling Patrick and then blaming Patrick for interupting him, talking to the delivery guy at the door, etc., and then he falls asleep at his desk? Yeeeaaah. That would be me...right now. Right. Now. Still typing.... Ok, fine! I'll go work on that dumb closet.

Sheesh! You don't have to be so bossy!

:)

Why I Love My Honey

2009-08-10T12:32:00.006-06:00

It's our 12th anniversary. This year, we went out to dinner and a movie over the weekend, and Honey bought me some gorgeous flowers. I thought I would show you just a few reasons why I love my Honey so much (in no particular order...)

He's a Great Father

Trying to get naked pictures of the newborn George, and when he got cold and started crying, Brian leaned over him to warm him up.

Here's George, crying again, and Honey's face is precious. Self-explanatory, don't you think? One of my favorites.

Another self-explanatory photo, and yet again, it's George. Look at how much that little baby loves his daddy.

He Works Hard

We finished our backyard together, but most definitely he did most of the work.

Works hard, even when it's putting things like this together at midnight on Christmas Eve.

He Supports Me in the Things That Mean So Much

My first day through the Temple.

Link's Baptism.

I love you, Honey. So very, very much. Happy 12th!!

In Honor of New Moon

2009-07-30T18:15:00.003-06:00

Let me first explain to you that I am an Edward girl. I find very little about Jacob appealing. He's warm-blooded, which is a plus. But he's an arrogant little boy, with a temper. And, he wears an old pair of worn out cut off sweats. Yes, I know why. But it still bugs me, okay?

Even so...I have always very strongly felt that the song I'm Your Man by Michael Buble is so purely a 'Jacob' theme song. I have to share it with you. I'm trying to get a sound file. Can't figure it out. But check back, cause I might just get it. I've gathered a few photos that I thought were appropriate.

Can you stand it? I can't. I just can't.

Here are the song lyrics.

I'm Your Man
Michael Buble

If you want a lover
I'll do anything you ask me to
And if you want another kind of love
I'll wear a mask for you
If you want a partner
Take my hand
Or if you want to strike me down in anger
Here I stand
I'm your man

If you want a boxer
I will step into the ring for you
And if you want a doctor
I'll examine every inch of you
If you want a driver
Climb inside
Or if you want to take me for a ride
You know you can
'Cause I'm your man

Ah, the moon's too bright
The chains too tight
The beast won't go to sleep
I've been running through these promises to you
That I made and could not keep
Ah but a man never got a woman back
If not by begging on his knees
I'd crawl to you baby
And I'd fall at your feet
I'd howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And I'd claw at your heart
And I'd tear at your sheet
I'd say please
'Cause I'm your man

And if you've got to sleep
A moment on the road
I will steer for you
And if you want to work the street alone
I'll disappear for you
And If you want a father for your child
Or only want to walk with me a while
Across the sand
Well, I'm your man

Ah, the moon's too bright
The chains too tight
The beast won't go to sleep
I've been running through these promises to you
That I made and could not keep
Ah but a man never got a woman back
Not by begging on his knees
I'd crawl to you baby
And I'd fall at your feet
I'd howl at your beauty
Like a dog in heat
And I'd claw at your heart
And I'd tear at your sheet
I'd say please
'Cause I'm your man
I'm your man.

'Cause I'm your man.

Girls, I cannot tell you enough how much better this song is when you actually listen to it. He sings it with so much intensity.

Going back to the way I felt the first time I read New Moon, I was very annoyed with Edward. I understood his reasons, but it felt very torturous. Seriously? That first half of the book tore my heart out. Even so, I kept waiting for something like the next picture to happen.

Or the next one......

Or better yet -

:::holding my breath:::

Just let that fluffy soft little feather float slowly through the air and settle down wherever you imagine it to settle.

If you do not know the significance of the feather - heaven and earth! you need to find out.

And for those of you who didn't really enjoy the feather,
or ever get around to finding out that much,
(you know who you are);
despite being a little confused, I have only frail amounts of pity for you.

So, here's to New Moon. This post is a bit premature, I know.

But the pictures are so pleasant to look at.

Aren't they?

Went to Hades Shopping for School Supplies

2009-07-30T16:38:00.002-06:00

Not on purpose. I always start with a fabulously optimistic attitude. They're going back to school, for Pete's sake (and who is Pete?). It's a wonderful occasion.

I. Can't. Wait.

So, we head off to the store. I have the list. I'm ready. I did it last year. And the year before that. And the year before that....... It wasn't that bad. Hah! Who am I kidding? Here's the list, combined. Items for a second grader and a fourth grader.

1 old sock
2 boxes Crayola colored pencils - 12 ct.
1 box Crayola crayons - 24 ct.
Crayola Fine Markers - classic
2 containers disinfectant wipes - Lysol
1 dry board eraser
3 boxes Expo dry erase markers - wide
2 pink erasers
Folders-bottom pockets/brads - 1 red, 1 blue
Folders-plastic/no brads - 1 each; yellow, red, green, blue, purple
1 8oz Elmers glue
4 large Elmers glue sticks
2 different color highlighters (for the 4th grader)
highlighters multi pack (for the 2nd grader)
4 boxes of kleenex
5 Mead composition books
1 pkg notebook paper - wide rule
1 Steno notebook - 6x9
1" 3 ring view finder binder
1 1/2" 3 ring view finder binder
Notebook dividers with tabs - 1 pkg of 5
2 black or blue pens
6 dozen #2 Dixon sharpened pencils
1 pencil bag
3 pkgs 3x3 50 ct post its
1 ruler - 12" metric and standard
2 pairs pointed fiskars scissors
2 Sharpie marker - fine pt black
1 spiral notebook - wide rule
1 box Ziploc bags - gallon zipper
1 box Ziploc bags - sandwich

Don't you love how specific they are? I'm now remembering some rant I had last year. On FB I think? I remember shopping for school supplies when I was a kid. One thing of paints, a box of crayons and a notebook. In middle school, we needed a few colored folders. In high school, it wasn't much more. I think this shopping list is ridiculous. I couldn't get it all, and it cost me $100.

But, I'm digressing. The list itself is not what makes me insane. It's the stinking store and how badly they have it all arranged. First snag came with the colored pencils. No Crayola 12 ct. So, too bad! I'm sending Rose. Lysol wipes, have to get them somewhere else, along with the kleenex and the ziploc bags. Dry board erasers are sold out. Can't find pink erasers....oh - there they are. In a 6 pack. We only need 2. I'll have 4 floating around my house or cluttering up my newly reorganized junk drawer. Highlighters come in pkgs of a minimum of three. So, we get an extra one of those too. Here's my biggest beef with the store. We have a specific list of folders and notebooks. Paper is in one place, notebooks are in another, folders are in a big fat nightmare of a mess and other things like notebook dividers and a steno are nowhere to be found. All of the plastic folders are gone except for purple. Some have pockets with brads, or pockets without brads, or no pockets and brads. The shelves are over-flowing with the fancy folders, pictures and junk. We don't need those! But there's 5 million of them and the plastic solid color folders are gone. Get a clue Target!!! Same with notebooks. Five million notebooks with stupid pictures on them. The black composition books are with the school supplies, but the colored ones are in the office supplies, along with the notebook dividers and the steno. Wait...there isn't a steno there, either. Couldn't find a single steno. Sassy is crying because she wants school supplies too. The boys keep saying sentences starting with, "What about..." "Don't forget that I need..." "Mom, can I have...."

Note to self...next year - pay for the stinking pre-assembled pack of school supplies. Save yourself the headache.

P.S. -- can't get this puppy house trained. She's killing me, people!!! Killing me! I shampooed the carpet today, to start with a fresh slate. She went on a walk with Will, pee'd on the walk. Pee'd outside. Proceeded to come inside and pee on the freshly cleaned carpet. I'm tearing my hair out. And what will Landee say about it today, I wonder. Hmmmmm.... lay it on me girlie. I'm ready.

A Breath of Freshy Fresh Air

2009-07-26T16:01:00.006-06:00

This is where I grew up. Isn't it breathtaking? You know the picture does very little justice for the actual view, though. But, seriously. It would be wrong for me to have a photo like this and not turn it into art for my house.

Anyway, on to some photos from my little impromptu get-out-of-town.

Here's the crew. Sassy, George, Ethan, Link and Caleb. Ethan and Sassy were born only 4 days apart from each other. My sis had just gotten home from the hospital with Ethan when I called her to tell her my water had broken. I just think that's cool. Anyway, here we are with the kids in the car, going to drive around and view the scenery.

And, here's the scenery. This is the lake view above Meadowlark Lake. It's a cliff. I was having a heart attack the whole time we were there. I remember being so annoyed that my mom would feel that way, but wow. It freaked me out.

Gotta get a picture of me with the kids. It was pretty chilly up there.

Kids hanging around at the cabin. This is George and Ethan.

Had to get a photo of this face.

Popcorn and a movie. Finally sitting still for a few minutes at least. George, Sassy, Link, Caleb and Ethan.

Photos with Papa Bob and Grandma Jean.

Awwww......that picture's a keeper.

Had to stop and get a picture by the creek.

We'll be back up here in a few weeks, and I'll give you some more pictures then.

You mean we're going to be in the car how long?????

2009-07-24T08:35:00.000-06:00

7 more hours......

:::::sigh:::::

2009-07-21T08:49:00.005-06:00

Three days.

Three. Looooooong. Days.

I started at one end of the kitchen and moved to the other, systematically. Want a run down? I removed 4 shelves. They will be transported to the basement until further notice. For now, they're position has expired. I re-organized 8 drawers and 11 cabinets. I hauled out several large trash bags. I have extra space!

E x t r a. Empty. Available!!! Hmmmmmmmm.

This is how I felt in the middle of Day Two.

The mixer has been moved to inside a cabinet and no longer sits on my counter taking up space and collecting kitchen matter.*

(Kitchen Matter: That sticky weird film that collects on things in a kitchen....gross)

I took each and every spice out of the rack and wiped each and every spice bottle down. The latest expiration date I could find was from 2000. I moved a lot of shelves around. It was a pain and it's still a pain. I'm sore in some strange places. I threw out things I've been saving for that one day that I might use it? You know those things? The heart shaped pancake mold, ummmm - no. Haven't used it in over 6 years. I bought organizing baskets for my drawers, put all of my cookie cutters in a bin. There were moments of sheer exhileration as I saw things fall into organizational heaven - ways that I simply couldn't see before. Why didn't I realize how much unused and miss-used space there was? I now have two drawers and three cabinets entirely empty. Entirely empty!! Of course, my whole system has changed. My cereal is down a level, the towels are in a totally different place. That's just to name a few things. I whacked my right elbow on the bar stools several times. It is still sore. I swore a few times (ok, not really, but I would have) while I was trying to get a shelf out or back in, while I was drilling new holes, or wishing my kids could find someway to entertain themselves. Stopping to eat or use the potty was annoying. We ran out and got a lot of take out cause there just wasn't any room among the mess to fix any food.

The cabinet above where the computer now happily sits. All the art supplies are there. Bandaids galore.
That top right is still yet undesignated. I think I'll use those little drawers to hide extra gum and things.

One shelf has been removed. The support for that second shelf was reinstated and instead of driving myself mad to dig the broken peg out of the little hole, I just shifted the shelf down a notch. All of those things on the top (baking supplies) were previously taking up a shelf in my pantry. I have a literal plethora of sprinkles and colored sugar. Three separate containers of red hots, which I use at Christmas time. Can you say, 'consolidate?' I threw out a lot of old spices. My goal is to gradually replace them all with the same brand and bottle. Consistency. The image of it in my head is accompanied by the singing of a single note - high and steady. And, I might add, quite in tune.

This is yet another glorious sight for me. Rice cooker, mixer, popcorn popper, cookie sheets, roaster and stock pot. Even that plate thing for special occasions that's been sitting on top of my fridge. That drawer to the left of this pantry? Empty. Taa Daaaaa!!

The non-helper. Wanted a picture with the finished product. Okay - she wasn't completely useless. She had a good time pulling things out and putting it on the table for me. I think she's been dying to do that since she could walk. She had a lot of fun playing with mixing bowls, spice bottles and kitchen utensils.

BONUS PICS!!!
::::::Lights flashing, bells dinging...::::::

You didn't get to see the 'before' for these.

Just one of the cabinets. Mixing bowls, colanders and strainers, liquid measuring cups, and...ahem...my rolling pin. (applause)

The silverware drawer. These white thingys were already here. I hate them, btw. I'd like to replace them with something else. All in due time.

There used to be so much junk in here. All of the food processor things and cake decorater things have been relocated to their own bin elsewhere.

This is one of my favorite drawers. I think maybe I have a thing for whisks (is 11 too many?). I'm very emotionally attached to my measuring cups and spoons. They get center, and they will no longer be scattered willy-nilly around the drawer.

And finally ....

The Junk Drawer

This project, a truly amazing feat. It warms my soul, from the inside out.

Next? Closets. My bedroom. Stay tuned!

Entirely Out of Character

2009-07-18T11:42:00.005-06:00

...and possibly out of my mind.

My bff Landee has inspired me. I'll tell you how. Although I have a very small and non-famous following to this blog, I will share with you one of my favorite blogs and then explain just how she has inspired me to tackle something Entirely Out of Character. Landee has a fantastically infamous blog, which is rapidly gaining more and more followers. Someday I hope to be able to say I knew her when. There are a lot of things I admire about Landee. Sense of humor, confidence, healthy and fun, just to name a few. Today, I am going to introduce you one of the big ones. Organized. Here are links to a few of her blog posts in June.

The awesomeness of her organizational undertaking has inspired me. I seek not to imitate, but to emulate. And I have bravely decided that I am going to tackle my kitchen. I need to blog about it because this is the sort of thing I only tackle once or twice a decade. Considering I'm only 34, that's pretty sad, huh? And yet, also truly momentous. I'm already telling myself that I must be crazy. I'm already afraid that I will lose steam halfway through and never really finish. (amazing, that self-imposed sabotage...) But, I'm trying to make myself accountable through blogging.

I am admitting I have a problem. Even though, this is only one of them. My junk drawer is overflowing with tacks, coins, hair thingys, christmas lights lightbulbs, fingernail clippers, ziploc bags of chalk, more hair thingys, phone cables. Need I list more? My spice cabinet has things in there I've owned since I was 19 years old. What the heck is up with that? Some of my culinary heros, like Alton Brown, Paula Dean and The Pioneer Woman would be horrified. I'm tired of shoving through the bottles of soy sauce, worcestershire, and tobasco to find the Lawry's or the greek seasoning. Or thinking the vanilla will be in the place I expect and finding it shoved to the back. My pantry is a mess of cans, snacks, baking supplies....I know you understand.

I also know nothing is ever perfect. I get it. I know I share the space with people who don't know the silent thoughts I have about where something is kept and the very good reason why. There's always a good reason, right? I shoot myself in the foot though, because I refuse to be a wife or mother that gets snippy and demanding and verbally angry over such things. My mother was a very demanding and verbal person over how things were to be done in her house. Towels were folded a specific way. The vacuuming was done a specific way. There were completely toy-free zones in the house. She would clean and clean and clean until those yellow rubber gloves were seemingly sewn to her hands. I remember one night we were in the kitchen and somebody dropped an entire gallon of milk on the kitchen floor. You should have seen the whispered desperation flying around the room; kids and father alike. We just couldn't allow mom to find out.....we couldn't bear the inevitable wrath to follow.

Fear.

I'm wondering if perhaps a healthy, moderate amount of fear isn't such a bad thing. Perhaps I do need to be more demanding about how things are going to be run in my kitchen. It is my kitchen. My office or my workplace, if you will. This is a universal knowledge. The kitchen is the woman's space. I spend great amounts of time every day of the week in that place. If I'm in the house, 95% of the time, I'll be in or very near the kitchen. Friends, I'm in the house a lot. I like being home, ok? My Honey has in the last few weeks kind of taken over the doing of the dishes. Now we may load the dishwasher differently and wipe down the counters differently, but if my Honey is willing to do the dishes, who am I to deny him? (thanks a bunch dad for griping because mom wouldn't ever let you do the dishes or clean anything...it made me think I needed to allow my hubby the opportunity) Most times, if I decide to give him a break and do them, he will stop me and tell me that he's got it. Occasionally, I think he gets tired of it and there will be a lull. And yet again, here is another example of where I shoot myself in the foot. As I said, I don't particularly agree with how he loads the dishwasher or wipes things down. Utensils and stuff aren't put away where I want them. But, I don't say anything. Is it really worth an argument? Pickin' the battles, people. Just pickin' the battles. I just move things back to where I want them and occasionally, reload the dishwasher later before I run it. But over time, things have very gradually gone from right to all messed up.

Wow. I talk too much. Can you say D.E.L.A.Y???

Well, here's the beginning of the process. Stay tuned my friends. It's going to be a rough ride, but I'm determined to stay in the boat.

The cabinets above the space that is supposed to be for the computer. I hope to store things in here such as the cookbooks (shown), the dog treats, batteries, meds, and...gulp...the art supplies. My kids love coloring and stuff a lot lately. They make the mess, and with effort, I get them to clean it up - but then I have to put it away. Perhaps easy access will also provide easier cleanup. And, can I just ask you - why do I love the idea of color wonder so much and yet totally hate them at the same time? Hate the books, hate the markers, hate those blasted foil packs they come in at the grocery store. Oh! I almost forgot. I wanted to move the top shelf down, but for some odd and completely annoying reason, the idiots who put these up only allowed for so many holes for each shelf, leaving the spaces in between completely blank. Is there some safety issue or some reason why we can't have holes all the way down? Oh no! You can't put the shelf there! Dumb! So girls - I dug out that drill and I drilled me some new ones. Take that!!

The spice cabinet. I'm not kidding about having a few things for so long. Btw, notice the first shelf and how it bows in the middle? The support snapped off and I didn't even know it. Now I have to get all of that down, take the shelf out, try to dig the plastic piece that's blocking the hole out and put it all back. Sigh..........didn't I just go through de-shelfing and re-shelfing?

This is a picture of the junk drawer, already partially emptied. My kids helped by digging out the loose change ($6.61, including a 1955 Canadian penny and a Dave and Busters token) and the tacks (67).

The kitchen table covered with everything I pulled out of that cabinet (and the junk drawer). Those daises came from my garden though. Aren't they lovely? And those plastic drawer thingys had permanent marker on them from previous uses. Did you know that the Mr. Clean eraser can get that stingy permanent marker off? Fresh!

The pantry. Perhaps not as bad as the other two, but I think there might be a lot of wasted space here. Gonna figure that out.

::::talking to myself:::: - "Hang onto your hat, sister. It's gonna be a bumpy ride." ::::talking to the people I live with, most of which won't even know I've spoken:::: - "It's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. Roll with it. The intention, the plan, and the mental image of the finished product is lovely."

Ugh...

2009-07-10T17:46:00.001-06:00

Link looks happy, right? Been at the Dr. for 45 min now. Still
waiting. Just a check up that will probably only take about 5 min when
he finally gets in here. Come on! It's Friday night. Let's get a move
on already...

P.S. - Had scheduled the appt with a Dr. G because our Dr. K was out of town. I've never liked Dr. G much. Happily, when we dropped our prescription off at Walgreens today, they handed it right back because the brilliant Dr. G didn't sign it. *&*#$_!)#&(*$

This Week's Nonsense

2009-07-08T11:22:00.004-06:00

Tiny Little Annoyances - at least a few

"Mom....mom....mom...mom..mom.mom mom mom momomomomomomomomomom..."
That fingernail I knicked with the razor that's catching on everything.
Saying everyday, "I thought I asked you to (fill in the blank)."
Plugging in my straightener and realizing that it just won't get hot anymore.
Sonic.
That laundry that needs to be folded.
Sweat, in nearly every situation.
When I see someone writing about something sweet, but spelling it like sweat.
Unexplained little aches and pains.
Anything lost.
The same episode of Max and Ruby or Little Bill the 500th time.

Tiny Little Joys - at least a few

The rainbows that dance on the walls in my living room every afternoon when the sun comes in through my prisms.
A text from a friend.
Sassy asleep on the couch, the boys outside playing and the dogs napping - all at the same time.
The first big sip from my Rt44.
Sonic.
Every other Wednesday.
Any opportunity to see my sisters.
Hearing any child saying, "Thank you mom!"
Anytime Honey puts his arm around me or holds my hand.
Fun mail.
A good smell in the house, like cinnamon.
Anyone eating anything I've cooked or baked and truly enjoying it.
The puppy making sucking noises in her sleep or having hiccups. Awwwwwww.

And what are some of yours?

This One's for MemZ

2009-07-08T11:09:00.000-06:00

The boot.

My 4th Creation

2009-07-03T16:30:00.000-06:00

Cake Ball Pops

One Step At A Time

2009-06-30T15:34:00.001-06:00

Honey just called me from Cold Stone. Said he's getting ice cream for
the kids and asked if I wanted any. Girls...I said no. This is quite
significant. No to Cold Stone? Hooray for me!!!

Is it a Waste of Time?

2009-06-30T11:02:00.003-06:00

"YOUR CROSS-STITCH is KILLING us!"

This is a direct quote from a good friend. What is she trying to say? Do I need an intervention? Would I rather sit on the couch and sew ALL day, than do pretty much anything else? Ummmm - yes. YES! Ok? I admit it! I would LOVE to sit ALL freeeeeking day and just sew sew sew sew sew until my fingers bleed. Give me a chic flick, a big ol' bottomless Sonic drink and my sewing and I'll be in h-e-a-v-e-n :::singsongy:::. Let me just show you my my big waste of time that's killing my blogger friends, my participation in book club and my time management at home.

Exhibit A
The Christ Cross Stitch

Started about 10 years ago
Completed Size approx. 11" x 9"
Total squares stitched when complete = 64,240

47 Colors
17 of those as solid colors and 12 different blended-color combinations
done as complete cross-stitches.
19 of those as solid colors and 9 different blended-color combinations
done as half cross-stitches.
This is like the bigdaddy of all cross-stitches (at least for me)
and I will very proudly display it on the wall in my house when it's finished.

Exhibit B

The Spring Queen

Started about 4 years ago
Completed size approx. 11" x 17"
Total squares stitched when complete = 50,040

40 Colors, all in cross-stitch
3 different blended color combinations
6 different colors of beads
While there are fewer colors and a ton less blending,
this pattern is stitched on linen and has lots of beading.
My wish is to complete the four queens;
Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter.

I don't know. I love to do it. I just LOVE to do it. I also LOVE reading a good book, and I LOVE hanging out with my friends. I haven't found the happy balance yet. And isn't that just the constant battle that we're all fighting in one way or another? Food and exercise, sleep and awake, blog or podcast?

I'm a Loser!

2009-06-26T09:02:00.003-06:00

NEVER type the words "Lose Weight Fast" in Googler if you don't want to be inundated with a bunch of scammy garbage. I kind of knew that already, but somehow got sucked into some thing about Dr. Oz and Oprah and Rachel Ray. I decided to try this Acai stuff that's supposed to help you lose weight. My friend takes some form of it and was telling me that she likes what it's doing for her. So - I signed up for the "RISK FREE" trial offer - just pay $4.95 for shipping. Uh huh. SUUUUUURRRRRRRRE!

This was about 10 days ago. I still haven't received any product. I decided to look around online and see what was up and I found a guy talking about it being a scam, etc. So, I decided to look further. Here's a little info in the fine print. I added the italics and stuff.

"You will have 15 days from your original purchase date to decide if Acai Advanced is right for you. If you are enjoying Acai Advanced do nothing and at the end of your 15 day trial period you will be charged the low rate of only sixty four dollars and ninety five cents (notice no numbers?) for the bottle you received. Approximately 30 days from your original purchase date and every 30 days thereafter you will be sent another 1 month supply of Acai Advanced and your credit card on file will be billed the Healthy Lifestyle’s Member's Only price of sixty four dollars and ninety five cents plus nine dollars and ninety five cents for shipping and handling for a total of seventy four dollars and ninety five cents. That's 30% off the regular price for a 1 month supply of Acai Advanced. You may cancel your membership at any time by simply contacting customer service. Please remember, most customers see most noticeable results by using Acai Advanced consistently for 3 months. You may contact our customer service department via postal mail, email, or by using our toll free phone number. Customer service hours are between the hours of 9 am till 5 pm PST, Monday through Friday."

Oh but there's MORE! Not only did I get signed up for this lovely 30% off the regular price, but I got automatically signed up for The Live Lean For Life Weight Loss Management Plan Trial. Oh YES!

"Try Live Lean For Life absolutely free for three weeks. You will have 20 days from your original purchase date to decide if Live Lean For Life is right for you. If you are enjoying Live Lean For Life do nothing and at the end of your 20 day trial period and every 30 days thereafter you will be charged the low rate of only Twenty four dollars and ninety five cents (still no numbers) to your credit card on file. You may cancel your membership at any time by simply contacting customer service....phone number 888-272-6483."

So, first I called Acai. Here's the deal, you gize. I lied. I told them my husband lost his job. Why? Cause one of my friends was saying that when her husband lost his and she started cancelling things - she was amazed at how instantly helpful and willing they were to do it. There wasn't any arguing. They just didn't want to mess with someone who wasn't going to have money. Taaadaaaaaaa! I tried it. They gave me the cancellation number and I'm so lucky - I only have to return 30 of the pills and I only have to pay for the shipping for that. Oh, but wait -- I still don't have them, do I? Hmmmmmm.

Then, I called Live Life Lean or whatever it is. That number listed put my on hold for over 10 minutes. During that time, I was researching them online and found another number. I don't think anyone would have ever picked up the first one. I called this other number and they couldn't find any record of me in their system. I hope that's true. If they charge me anything, I'll have to dispute it and that's a big pain in the hind-end.

Eneeeewaaaaaaaay.......I'm a loser. I got sucked in and scammed and luckily (hopefully) got out of it before they started charging me a bunch of money. Next plan -- which I might just do -- is call the bank and get a new card number. Cancel the current one. I keep thinking about the story of the camera - you know who you are - and the husband rushing home in the middle of church to get online and save the day. My Honey is probably shaking his head at me.

I guess if you want to try Acai - go to the vitamin store or something and just buy it.

ON ANOTHER TOPIC:

How about that Michael Jackson thing, eh? I think he killed himself, or got his 'personal physician' to help him. Can you think of any one person who was more miserable to just exist as himself? Poor fella. Mark my words people. I can't wait to find out the autopsy results. At least - if they tell us the truth.

Who doesn't love a good conspiracy theory now and again??

Now can we stop hearing about him on the news already? Goll! I feel bad that Farah got so swept under the rug.

Mkay. Moving on. I've got to go get that lovely boot thing for my foot this morning.

yay.

Just Some Stuff Cause I Feel Like Talking

2009-06-24T17:30:00.003-06:00

Oh, I know!! Just look at those little liquid-brown eyes and teeny baby teefers! She is adorable. Nellie has thrown everything off kilter. I got her to satisfy some 'something' that I had going on. You know...my husband wants a Harley. I want a puppy. Anyway, Honey was not very happy when I pulled up with her in the car. He stayed back, kept his sunglasses on, held her for about 8 seconds and gave her back. He didn't say much to me that afternoon.

He tried to tell me that getting a puppy would be upsetting to the status quo around here. Mess up our trip to the cabin, add some chaos and take away some sleep. He was right. We've had to reschedule the cabin trip for August. We have dog toys all over the house all the time now. We have three children and three dogs. I must be out of my mind. I get comments from people -- not naming any names btw -- and I've been taking them a little too personally and finding myself feeling a little embarrassed because I crossed that line. Most families have one dog. Right? Some have two. We had two little dogs. Totally normal. But three little dogs? What the heck is going on there? (P.S. I think it we wrapped them all up together, it would be equal to one big dog...they just all run in different directions...) Maybe if we had no kids or only one kid. But I started judging myself. Then, I was tired. Tired of poo and pee on the carpet and non-stop monitoring the puppy so that I could avoid the poo and pee on the carpet. Link was the miracle puppy-sitter when we brought her home. Now all of a sudden, he's too afraid to pick her up and too lazy to stick it out when she's wandering in the grass and taking her sweet time. Our two old lady dogs are worn out. So much more running and playing than they've been used to in years. I haven't been able to touch my reading or my cross-stitching since I brought her home. I'm dying! And to top it all off, she has giardia, which translates to puppy diarhea. So, she's on meds for that, an antibiotic and an anti-diarheal med. Boy oh boy. She doesn't like Honey. Actually, she doesn't like much of anyone outside of me and Link. She'll nap on George's lap. But Honey scares her. We suspect she doesn't like men in general. I feel bad. I remember Honey playing with our old girls when they were puppies and it was totally fun! I've suggested bacon in the pocket, but he hasn't tried it yet.

So yesterday I texted him and told him that I was having second thoughts. I gave him complete credit and swallowed my pride and told him that he was right all along. Did I mention to you all how golden he is?

Get this...he called me on the phone and talked me down off the 'let's-sell-the-puppy' ledge. He was kind. He never took credit for being right. NEVER said "I told you so." And, for not even wanting the puppy in the first place, he chose to completely support my choice to get her and make me feel better about all the poo and the lost sleep. Can you believe it? How many times can you fall in love with the same person? Honey - seriously. You're the best.

Here she is sleeping on Link.

Here we are taking a nap together. I can hardly stand how cute this picture is...

Sammy has taken a very loving roll in the whole thing. She lets Nellie sleep by her, wrestles really gently with her, puts up with her puppy stuff and all that. It's impressive. I never would have guessed that Sammy could be so sweet to a new dog.

Landee, I still owe you a picture of Nellie in the totally cute puppy warming sweater you gave her. I want to get it 'in action' tho and she's been sleeping all day today. Had a vet appt and a booster shot. I think it wore her out and made her not feel so good.

Here's some more "Stuff"
Really...it's just "stuff"

So today, I found out that I have a stress fracture in my foot. In the third metatarsal of my left foot. Isn't that awesome? I thought that's what it was, and luckily my doctor took me seriously. Unluckily, I get to wear a boot cast, which I will get on Friday. yay for me...(NOT!)

We're having fish for dinner. Landee enlightened me to the beautifully frozen, individually packaged Mahi at Costco and it's fabulously yummy and fabulously easy to grill. Link is mad and wants a corndog instead. No way, bud.

I've begun the reversal process off the crap Cymbalta and back to my original meds. I already feel a ton better. Brighter. I was so tired and smudged out. I have more energy. It's really nice. If the dead zone reverses...I probably won't tell you. You don't want to know that anyway. I'm laughing because my Dr. wants to do a sleep study on me. The more I think about it -- I have a three year old and a puppy. Of course I don't sleep well. Geez! I'm gonna hold off on that.

Got my house cleaned today. I love this day. I will totally love tomorrow too.

Sooooo, maybe I'll blog some more nonsense later. Thanks for reading the riff raff.

OH and Memzy Memzerton...I missed your BIRTHDAY! Sorry, girlie! Landee even texted me and told me on the day. I hope it was a fab one and I still can't wait to meet you.

Nellie

2009-06-21T14:15:00.001-06:00

Nellie is fitting in just fine. Sammy seems to be taking on an adopted
mommy role. Cute!

Doin' it Easy

2009-06-19T08:32:00.002-06:00

Link spotted this at Costco. Remember Bisquick? My mother loved this stuff. She used it all the time. Now I have a really fantastic pancake recipe, thanks to Sara. Buttermilk Pancakes, to be precise. They are thick and turn into the most wonderful things I've ever seen when they cook. Just love them.

Anyway, Link saw the Bisquick and begged me. I figured it wouldn't hurt to try a short cut once in a while. Maybe they'd eat a little less cold cereal.

They are easy. They are fast. My kids wolfed them down (Sassy excepted, cause she won't eat much that she didn't decide she wanted in the first place).

I'm giving a lot of the credit to Landee, who gave me permission to use prefabricated refridgerated cookie dough (even though I think it's a bit yucky...but that makes me eat it less). Here I am using a pancake mix, of all things. What in the world is going on here?

(I should add....that cheeseburger pie thing my mom used to make for dinner...I've been craving it for weeks. Guess what recipe is on the back of the box of Bisquick? Taaa Daaaaaaaaa!)

Sassy is an Escape Artist

2009-06-18T15:09:00.003-06:00

Sassy has a mind of her own. She is movin' fast and doesn't have time for anyone to get in her way. She's bossy and likes to take charge. Sassy came charging into the world 3 weeks early. She may be sweet as a pea, dimples and all, but she knows exactly what she's doing. Sassy started walking at 10 months, would't have anything to do with a high chair by the time she was a year old, never wanted a booster or a little potty. From zero to ten, people.

My latest enjoyment is that she just helps herself to playing outside whenever she feels like it. I'm two seconds from taking myself to Home Depot and getting extra locks for the doors. Up high. High locks. She runs to neighbor A's house and walks in like she owns the place. She rings the doorbell at neighbor B's house to borrow movies and see their dog and their fish. She goes to neighbor C, D, E and F's houses to socialize when she sees them outside. At neighbor G's house, she hangs out with them when they are outside, gets things out of their garage, or goes into their backyard to play in the sand. There use to only be one or two places that she would go and it was fairly easy to find her. Now, I send Link to do the rounds. It's ridiculous. If I tell her to stay inside, she waits until I find something to do and disappears. Or, she sneaks out into the backyard and then through the fence to the front and she's gone. She loves to run around in her mismatched outfits, on backwards or inside out. Sometimes two different shoes. Always messy hair because there's too much structure involved with her hair being fixed. I can get it fixed, but anywhere from 10 minutes to 2 hours later, it's all dismantled and flying free. It's bittersweet. I see myself in that little sassy. I ran around barefoot and all messy, spent hours and hours outside. Sometimes with friends, mostly alone. My mom would shove me out the door before 8 am with a paper cup of orange juice and a piece of cinnamon toast. If she had cleaning to do and was grouchy (all the time) we were herded out the door and she'd lock it. Out for the day. I remember spending the night at my grandpa's farm. I'd wake up and be outside before anyone else. It was chilly, but I loved the sound of the birds in the morning and couldn't wait to go find something to explore.

As much as I love my neighbors, sometimes the most dangerous people are the ones who look the most normal. Now I have this little girl who couldn't be more of a target, and I can hardly keep her beside me. So, the hard lessons have begun. She's grounded from outside for the day for disappearing. The next week or so is going to be great fun, fighting with this strong-willed little girl. I love that she'll look at me and say, "Cha!" She heard that one on Thumbelina. Thanks Thumbelina. I'm still trying to reconcile how a three year old can have as much attitude as some of the Beehives I know.

Oh help!

Dont' Go Out on a Sunday.....duh?

2009-06-16T00:14:00.001-06:00

I've been wanting a new puppy. Long story short, decision made - breed decided - research done - shopping commenced - blah, blah, blah.... Got word on Sunday that the price of some local Italian Greyhound puppies had dropped and I texted Honey about it. Somewhere along the way, we decided that I would go 'look' at them. I got Link in the car and we took off. I was, naturally, excited! Less than 5 miles from the house, I got pulled over. First, I couldn't find my purse. Oh yes...left it at home. Wha? I had my phone. I had my soda. No purse. No ID. "Oh, come on!" I was thinking. Second thing I couldn't find was the registration. There was a current ins card. The cop took that from me along with my name, birthdate, etc. He then informed me that I was going 70 mph in a 55 mph construction zone, which would typically be between $300 and $400. You have got to be kidding me! While he was in his car making calls and looking me up, I discovered the registration and started texting with Honey. I hate that. You know? Why is it so embarrassing to have to tell my husband that I've not only been pulled over for speeding, but that I don't have my driver's license either.

Side Note

This happened a few months ago, when I was pulled over for driving with headphones on. I had my ID this time, but there was no current ins card in the car, and I was surprised to find out from the cop that my tags were expired. He got me for the expired tags and the headphones. Because of this experience (and because Honey's been pulled over and given stinkin' warnings - we put a marine sticker on the back of the van, thinking it would be as beneficial as it has been for him...).

So, the 'kind' police officer came back and informed me that he was going to do me a favor. He didn't double the fine, like he should in a construction zone. The ticket was only a 4 point for $162. Oh, how kind! Wasn't he generous? Never mind that he was sitting on the side of the highway with another police car and they both pulled over people at the same time. Can you say speed trap? Never mind that I drive that section of the highway all the time and I was not only taken completely surprise by the orange cones, but never saw a thing about any reduced speed. Geez. I had to turn around and come right back home to get my purse. I couldn't very well drive 45 minutes north to look at a puppy without my driver's license, especially now that I'd gotten a ticket already. On my way back to the house, someone started pulling out into the road in front of me. They weren't paying attention at all and I had to tap my breaks pretty hard. Luckily, they came to their senses and stopped. What is the deal? The voice in my head says "it's Sunday...dummy."

I stopped, got my purse, gave the ticket to Honey. He was very kind. He didn't give me crap and he didn't laugh too much. Back on the road.

We found the place okay - checked out the puppy. I decided she was perfect. We got her. The dark clouds were rolling in, just as we were getting ready to leave. Minutes after, it started pouring. Then it started hailing. One large hail here and there. Not a deluge. But when they hit the car, it sounded like someone had pelted us with a rock or a paintball gun. It hit so hard. Before long, it was a lot more and I could hardly see out the window. The road was flooded, we were going about 20 mph, I couldn't see where we were. Ridiculous. We finally made it out of the storm and made our way toward home. The rest of the day was okay. Honey finally warmed up to the puppy. I have to give it to him. He handled it all so well. He 'responded' so well to the whole thing.

(this is in reference to the fabulous Marriage and Family Relations class that I'm taking at church. We've been discussing responding to conflict rather than reacting to it.)

I think he realized that I was going to get this puppy one way or another, and when it comes to compromising in marriage with your spouse, differing opinions and all that...he was golden as can be. Absolutely Golden.

As to the topic of going out on a Sunday?

Speeding ticket: $162.
Puppy plus puppy supplies: $270.
Hail damage: $100 deductible plus time for adjuster to 'look' and scheduled time for repair.
Lesson relearned that keeping the Sabbath Day is a commandment? Simply Priceless.

The last time this happened, (about 8 years ago) I was at the mall on a Sunday and happened upon a fabulous shoe sale at Nordstrom. Awesome pair of size 10 Doc Martin boots for $100!!! However, when I got home, I realized the box held a pair of these size 5 little strappy something-er-others that belonged to someone else. I called the store. She had taken my boots home. We had to figure out how to hook up with each other, met at the mall later in the week and traded our shoes. Stupid.

On a happier note, we have decided to name our little puppy Nellie. She is adorable! I will be posting pictures. I promise. Hang in there. Our two old lady dogs are taking to her like she's the new baby in the house. They love playing with her. They're protective. They're gentle. It's so fun to watch. Nellie is very attached to me and to Will. She needs more time and opportunity to get attached to George, Sassy and Honey. George isn't as enthralled as Link is. He finds other things to do and keeps himself busy elsewhere most of the day. Sassy spends all her time trying to find out ways to socialize with the neighbors and Honey is at work. It'll come.

Anyway. Now, we have a baby who needs to go outside every two hours for the opportunity to pee and poo. She's playful and seems to be pretty well behaved for a puppy. I don't know if we just got lucky, or if she just hasn't kicked in yet. Last night she went out at midnight and was still sound asleep at 6 am. It does sound too good to be true, doesn't it? No matter. It's totally fun. The kids are loving her. She's really fun to have around.

Just for the record, if you think I'm going out on Sunday again anytime soon? You've got another thing coming!! :D

What a bummer.....

2009-06-12T07:41:00.004-06:00

Remember the fat post? Yes. You do. You think after all of that I would have learned something. Nope. You think it might have motivated me to DO something. Nope. You think I would have at least halted where I was and waited it out. Nope. Not that either.

I am now the same as I was right after Colin was born. HOLY SHAMMMMU! What the HECK is going on here? I think I'd better finally make that appt with my GYN for the annual garbage visit we all love so much and get some blood work done. Maybe it's hormonal? Maybe it's thyroid-ial. I don't know gize.

How much do you want to know about me, anyway? Well, I'm feeling a little "So?" this morning. I might sound a bit snootyish. Sorry.

I have depression. Clinical, hereditary, brain-does-it-without-my-permission depression. It makes me anti-social. It makes me eat. It makes me grouchy, destroys my self-esteem, eliminates my ability to make decisions, makes my kids and husband seem outrageously annoying, convinces me that everyone is out to get me, distorts my perception. What else can I say? Mental illness is nasty, people. Nasty! I can put on a pretty good face. I don't know how it happens, actually. I was SO bummed out a couple of days ago and somehow found myself smiling and seeming perfectly normal. There is a difference between my prefabricated happiness and the kind that comes all-natural. Unfortunately, the all-natural kind is hard to come by. I know! It really and truly stinks and I wish I could just change it.

See, I've been on the same meds for over 7 years. I think they have finally just quit doing their job. It's been a gradual thing. Slowly depleating over the last several months, until I suddenly realized that I'm suffering from depression and have been for a while - but in denial. It's all quite annoying. I've been through this a million times and there are tell-tale signs. Things I find myself doing or thinking that raises the red flag. I have to exercise enough self-awareness and self-control to say to my sickened, mentally-ill self that I need to get help. It's like when the power goes out and some generator kicks on the backup lights? I think it's a blessing, actually. I don't think everyone has those. I've seen friends and others with different forms of mental and emotional problems who just can't seem to climb out on their own. I can't climb out alone either, but I can use the backups to at least motivate me to find help.

Ennneeeeeeeeeway......I decided to get help. Went to my guy. He put me on a new stuff. The first two weeks were CRAZY! Now, it's leveled off and I live in a constant state of really tired. It's driven me to become addicted to fully leaded caffeine Coke. There are a few other side effects that I'm becoming aware of. Weird stuff. Most importantly, the dead zone. One or two of you reading know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Use your imagination. Initially, the dead zone wasn't a big deal. Now? It's starting to be a really big bummer. Otherwise, I still feel like hiding out in my house. I don't want to get dressed or go anywhere. I can't stand the idea of having to do my hair or make myself presentable. I will. If I have to. But it's hard. Ready for this one? I can't stop looking at my skin. This is one of the weird ones. You know how they talk about people on meth who can't stop picking? I can't stop picking!!! I have stopped, now that I've allowed the generator lights to come on and tell me what's going on. So, now after two months of trial, I have to go back to my doctor and go through the process of getting back off this horrible med. What am I going to take now? It sucks.

I was talking to my hair girl about it. She said that her meds make her feel constantly tired too, and she also has the dead zone. It's just not fair.

Depression as a child was hard. I was always convinced that the people laughing nearby were laughing at me. It made me impulsive and I would do crazy things, trying to find some happiness, except that I just ended up getting into a lot of trouble. I couldn't concentrate or function very well mentally, so my grades were in the toilet. In high school, it made me suicidal. I never really tried. I wanted to really badly for about a year or two. Knowing who I am and where I came from kept me from doing it. Somewhere inside me, I knew there was a future I really wanted to have, so I just made it through, I guess. It wasn't until I got married, that I finally sought some medication for help.

I never really knew HOW bad it was until I finally got on medication. All of a sudden, it was like someone turned the lights on. Like I'd been living under water, but finally come to the surface. You know how distorted things are when you're under water? You can't hear other people very well, you can't see things very well, you move slowly....? It's the best way I can think to describe it. Right now, I feel like I'm treading water, occasionally getting caught under, occasionally catching my breath. It's not good enough.

So, I know this is not a well organized post. My thoughts are sorta discombobulated and strange. I also know it's a depressing topic. Duh. I also know that I'm taking a risk telling you such intimate things about myself. It's hard to take. Hard to know your friend might suffer from mental illness and then still want to have lunch and stuff. "How genuine is her smile, anyway?" Just so you know...I might be forcing the smile and forcing myself to get out of the house. But - inside I really do want to be there. It's a strange internal battle. If I'm your friend, and now you're confused, I can tell you that I really do love you. I really do want to be your friend. If I do something really weird, or I seem witchy, or I act like I'm not paying attention...it's all just me battling with my brain to get it to function "normally." I hope it won't be weird the next time we're chatting. Just pretend you knew this all along. I remember telling a friend some really private things about myself and the conversation seemed to go really well. Until the next day. All of a sudden our relationship was completely different and she was all disconnected and stuff. It's happened before. I get it.

So, I'm sitting here at 8:20 in the morning, yawning like I was up all night long, even though I wasn't, wishing I could go back to sleep. If I don't go back to sleep, I'll have to suck down a couple of sodas to get myself moving. Sadly, I became aware early this week that Honey's wearing thin with all this crappola and I have to figure out how to make myself function. I'm sorry that he's annoyed and I'm pizzzzzzzed that he's annoyed. But, I have to choose the high road, right? I've made it this far. I really and truly look forward to the next life, people.

To those of you whom I love, thanks for loving me back. The last few months have been pretty cruddy. At the same time, I've made some brand new and fantabulous friendships in the last few months and I think they are heaven-sent. You know who you are.... I'll make it. I always do. I'll find a way, just like I always do.

And now, we can pretend we never had this discussion and we can pretend that you don't know and I can pretend that I don't know that you know and you're pretending you don't know. Self-induced denial really can be useful.....sometimes. :D

P.S. -- I really am not writing this for sympathy or a bunch of attention. Just writing it. I am fine. Just some honesty - probably too much information. Just don't feel like you have to say something meaningful or sensitive. I promise, I'm not keeping tabs. And, I'm not jumping off a cliff either. It's cool.

Poor Trees Got Shredded

2009-06-11T14:31:00.001-06:00

So, we headed off to Hobby Lobby and Walmart today. I wasn't paying attention and missed the turn for Hobby Lobby, so I figured we would just hit Walmart first. While walking in, we were commenting on the looming, really dark clouds - that also had large areas of green in them. Hmmmm. We started getting the things on our list and a lady poked her head from between a couple of aisles to announce to everyone within earshot that we were now under a tornado warning. Within a minute or two, I could hear the rain on the roof. We wandered toward the doors to see if it was hailing. Nope. Just rain. A few minutes later, it started getting louder, so we headed back toward the doors. The sound kept getting louder and louder. It was crazy! We couldn't talk to eachother without yelling. We stood near the doors for a few minutes. It was totally dark outside and hailing like crazy. That was when the Walmart people started herding everyone to the back of the store and grouped us all together by the shoes. I guess getting hit in the head with flying shoes is better than housewares or cd cases, right? Anyway, we all stood back there for just over 30 minutes before they let us go free into the store again. It felt like a lot longer than that. Everyone was talking on their phones. Babies were crying. The guy near us was asking around for a cell he could borrow, and then I heard him begging his wife (over the phone) to go to their basement. Link was freaking out a little. Every once in a while his chin would start to quiver and tears would well up in his eyes. I have to admit, as the decible level kept going up and up, I was getting anxious. I was trying to imagine what it would be like to be stuck in Walmart with a tornado raging outside. Looking around me for some safe place to huddle the kids together. Could I cover all three of them up with my body at the same time? Ok, yes. I probably could. :::::ahem:::::

Anyway - exciting afternoon at Walmart. By the time we got out of there, I had snatched up a bag of Dove dark chocolate covered almonds. It was still pouring outside. We took a spin through Sonic on the way home so I could pacify myself with a Rt. 44 Coke and ended up skipping the trip to Hobby Lobby all together. Dang it. I need some dark olive green thread for my cross stitch. That's an entirely separate blog, y'all.

So, we're supposed to have rain every day for the next 8-9 days. I'm so happy. I love it when it rains. I love thunder and lightening. I love how green everything gets. Some of my plants outside look happier this spring than I've seen in a very long time. Aaaaaand, I get out of going to the pool. Phew!

More Hail

2009-06-11T14:22:00.001-06:00