Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A Persuasive Letter

"Dear Mom and Dad

I would love a better life because I deserve it. If you give me a better life I will do what you say. We need to take care of some friends. We need to get rid of those friends. If we do that I will get a lot of thinking space. Keep an eye on George. Pleas look for George brining his DSI to bead. If we do that I will be ready and energized in the morning. Allowance should be higher. Could it be at least $10 for chores and babysitting? If we do that you wont have to spend a lot of money on toys for me. Cell phone calling Link's name. Could I pleas have an AT&T back flip? If I get one you can hear more problems more faster. I need some alone time. I would love one hour to my self. If we do that you will not have to deal with a lot of fights. I need a new room to sleep in. Could I sleep in the guest room? I have better sleep in the guest room than my room. Anyone who has a better life I want to join them to.


Ooooooooookay............Want the Momdisclaimerexplanation? No really. You do want it. Trust me.
I guess this was an exercise they did for class. They were supposed to write a Persuasion Letter. Wow. He just laid it all out there didn't he?
  • I guess the first thing he needs is a better life - and then he'll do what I say?? If I had only known it was that easy.
  • I do NOT understand the friend thing. I asked him about it and his response made no sense. Just disregard.
  • The most helpful tip in the entire letter was that George is sneaking his DSI to bed. This is news to me. I'm gonna put the cabosh on that immediately.
  • Allowance should be higher? Very interesting. Especially since as parents, we are pitiful enough to not even have an established allowance. He should have said that allowance should exist. And why he's telling me that I won't have to spend a lot of money on toys is interesting too. I already don't. So, what's the need for changing now?
  • I read the "Cell phone calling Link's name." to him and asked him what that meant. He said that somewhere there is a back flip phone in an AT&T store calling his name. Ahhhh. Ok. He also claims it would be way easier for him to just text me on a Saturday morning than to walk up the stairs to knock on my bedroom door. How can you argue with that air-tight logic?
  • "I need some alone time." Hello?? I need some alone time. And what are these fights he speaks of? There's some normal sibling bickering that goes on, but there certainly aren't a lot of fights.
  • A new room, eh? A new room??? This is what I told him. We started in the room with George and he said he couldn't sleep so we moved him to the guest room and before long he couldn't sleep in there either. So we moved him back to the room with George, but before long, he couldn't sleep again, so we moved him back into the guest room and ... you guesssed it ... before long he couldn't sleep in there again. SO we moved him back to the room with George and now he's asking AGAIN to be moved? Sorry bubba. We just redecorated, painted, new bed, new bedding,. All new. No boys. NO boys will be sleeping in there and boogering up a new room. Tooooooo bad.
Tell me, y'all. What are your thoughts?


Jenny ESP said...

I dunno. That's pretty darn persuasive.

Landee said...

Didn't he say that someone told him he had an 80% chance of getting what he wanted cuz his letter was so persuasive?

Good luck with that better life thing. And the AT&T Backflip.

"Anyone who has a better life I want to join them to." Amen, brother.

Princess Kimi said...

And a ginorm AMEN about the not at all hard to understand "We need to take care of some friends. We need to get rid of those friends" Why did you even have to ask him about this? He wants to totally rub some snitches out.

Flem said...

I love the lack of transitions in kid writing. It is like a stream of consciousness--I wish adults wrote this way rather than actually having points.

As for the content, I agree that the best gem was the sneaking the DSI. Brilliant and he had no idea he was busting out his bro.